Floridians, Can You Guess How Reddit Judged These 7 Grandparents?

Some grandparents are always ready to help.

Others would rather spend their time another way.

Floridians have a take on that, along with Reddit users across the country who’ve weighed in on situations like these.

Here’s how Reddit judged the grandparents in the following seven situations.

Make your call on each one, then tap the cards at the end to check how your opinion compares to Reddit users.

Note: This is general information, not legal advice. Laws and court rules are subject to change.

1. Online Comments From a Grandfather

This grandfather didn’t write the Reddit post, but his son’s story puts him at the center of it.

According to the son, his father left when he was about six, remarried and settled on the other side of the country.

The son says that around his 13th birthday, he phoned his father’s house and learned the new wife didn’t know about him.

Years later, the post says, his father started commenting on nearly every family post about the son’s daughter and referring to her as his granddaughter.

According to the post, the son wrote back that his father had no standing as a grandfather and should stay away from the family.

His father’s reply, as the son tells it, was that the son owed him respect because he was the reason the son was alive.

In a later online reply, the son writes, he told his father he’d had decades to act like a dad.

As with any anonymous post, you can’t confirm these details.

2. Weekend Babysitting

A grandmother who works all week says she wants her weekends to herself, according to SheKnows.

She says her daughter, a single mom, recently picked up weekend shifts and seems to expect her to watch the toddler.

She adds that her daughter works all week, with child care set up at a reduced price.

The grandmother says she had four children herself, has put in her years of parenting and doesn’t have the energy for a toddler anymore.

Other relatives have told her helping out is her role, she says, and she doesn’t think anyone else in the family is reliable enough to take over.

Before you decide, consider that she asked Reddit whether she’s being selfish.

3. Newborn Party Plan

In this Reddit post, a grandparent says they proposed a party to welcome a newborn.

The poster says the daughter-in-law turned the party down and preferred to stay home with the baby early on.

According to the poster, the grandparents learned about the birth from a nephew roughly two weeks afterward.

The poster says they told their son that not sharing the news was unacceptable, and that other relatives were disappointed too.

The son told them the new parents felt pushed, the poster writes.

You’re hearing the son’s side only through the poster.

Later, the poster says, an argument ended with the son hanging up after accusing them of taking the joy out of the baby’s arrival.

4. Baby Gift Offers

You can see why a grandmother-to-be might want to shop for a new baby.

According to this Reddit post, she keeps offering to buy things for the baby.

Her daughter, the expectant mom, says she has politely turned down every offer.

Her first reason, she says, is practical: A sister-in-law passed along a pile of hand-me-downs.

She adds that the couple can pay for whatever else the baby needs.

The second reason is about strings: She says her mother gives gifts and then uses them to get favors.

As an example, she describes a bread maker that came with demands for loaves every other week.

She says her mother refuses to admit there’s a problem.

Everything here about the mother comes from her daughter’s telling.

5. Little League Tournament

The grandfather in this Reddit post is 47, and he says he didn’t want to be a dad at 21.

His son is now 26 and was 21 when the grandson was born.

According to Romper’s retelling of the post, the son wanted him more involved, including at the boy’s Little League tournament.

The grandfather says he turned it down, citing his travel, scuba diving, girlfriend and weightlifting.

He says he told his son that two decades of parenting were enough.

You may know a grandparent who has drawn a line like that.

The grandfather says his son shot back that he was always off having fun and never put his son first.

6. Family Visits

According to the daughter-in-law who wrote this Reddit post, the grandmother has seen the poster’s 5-year-old once and met the 3-year-old only recently.

The poster adds that her mother-in-law doesn’t call or video chat, which she describes as a choice.

The poster says the grandmother’s reason for not inviting them over is that her husband doesn’t want them in the house.

The grandmother’s husband later said, according to the post, that he had never said that.

The poster says her mother-in-law suggested it might have been a misunderstanding.

The poster insists she heard the remark clearly, so it wasn’t a misunderstanding.

The poster says her mother-in-law was furious afterward and told her she should have let the subject drop.

According to the poster, the grandmother felt she’d been made to look bad.

Would you let a doubtful excuse from a relative slide, or say so?

7. Planned Move South

This grandmother says in her Reddit post that she wants to step back from regular child care for her daughter’s kids.

She says she and her husband plan to move south.

The couple, she says, provided a great deal of care for their daughter’s child even after the daughter left home and married.

That arrangement, she says, amounted to parenting the child themselves.

You may wonder where helping out ends and raising someone’s kids begins.

According to the post, her daughter objected to the move because she might still need help.

She says she’d rather be the grandmother who visits and indulges the kids than a stand-in parent.

The daughter took offense, the grandmother says, and told her that stepping in is just part of being a grandmother.

Florida’s Grandparent Visitation Law

If you’re a grandparent, Florida’s main grandparent visitation law lets you ask a court for time with a child only in narrow situations.

A court can hear a grandparent’s request if the child’s parents are deceased, missing or in a persistent vegetative state.

A second route applies when one parent is in that situation and the other has been convicted of a felony or violent offense involving a substantial threat of harm.

A grandparent generally can’t use this law when both parents are alive and neither is missing or in a persistent vegetative state.

If the newborn story’s family lived in Florida, that would generally rule the grandparent out, since the new parents are both alive.

Setting Grandparent Ground Rules

A Kansas State University extension specialist says in a news release that families should settle grandparent boundaries before the baby arrives.

The release adds that your talk can cover when grandparents visit, which foods the child can have and what shows and screens the child sees.