Who Gets the Heirloom? 6 Family Inheritance Fights Many Pennsylvanians Can Relate To

Could you referee a family fight over what a relative left behind?

Heirlooms and inheritances can turn relatives against each other.

Some people took to Reddit, seeking the help of strangers to judge if they were in the right or wrong with their sticky inheritance situations.

Pennsylvanians, read the six scenarios below and pick a side. Then, tap the cards near the end of the article to find out who Reddit users sided with.

Note: This is general information, not legal advice. Estate rules and court procedures are subject to change.

1. Two Shares for One Sister

On Reddit’s popular AITA forum, where people ask strangers to judge whether they were in the wrong, a man, 31, shared his post about his parents’ inheritance plan.

Newsweek covered the post in July 2023 but couldn’t verify the details, so you’re hearing only his account.

His parents, he says, want to divide their estate into five shares.

His sister would get two shares, and he and his two brothers would get one share each.

To his parents, the extra share repays the childhood his sister gave up.

He objected because, to him, her duties amounted to feeding her brothers and watching them, hardly a major hardship.

His sister, he adds, later texted her brothers that she had no plans to take the bigger share.

2. A Reworked Diamond Ring

A woman, 26, says her cousin reworked a family diamond ring without telling anyone, in a Reddit post Newsweek covered in April 2023.

She says her grandmother gave the cousin’s fiancé the ring for the proposal, and that it had first come from her grandfather.

The cousin had it redone with mostly new stones, she says, and the original white gold went into a wedding band.

She says she told her cousin the makeover had ruined a family keepsake.

Newsweek couldn’t verify the account, but it reports that the cousin wanted an apology.

In her place, would you have told your cousin how you felt, or kept it to yourself?

3. $25,000 for Each Granddaughter

Newsweek called the money at the center of this Reddit post an inheritance in January 2023: $25,000 for each of a man’s two daughters.

He wrote that his father left when he was 20, about 25 years before he posted.

Then, he wrote, his father got back in touch and said he was seriously ill.

Newsweek couldn’t confirm what the post says.

The man wrote that he was thinking of turning the money down for his daughters, 15 and 13, and keeping the offer from them, possibly for good.

He says taking it would amount to approving of his father’s past, and he feared a lump sum might win the girls over.

Would you accept the money for the girls, or turn it down?

4. A Grandmother’s Necklace

Newsweek covered a woman’s Reddit post about a diamond necklace in January 2025 but couldn’t confirm the story.

She says her grandmother left it to the siblings, and that the family had long passed it to its first daughter.

Her brother, she says, gave the necklace to his fiancée and claimed their grandmother had privately told him it should be his because he was more responsible.

She wanted it returned, but he refused, arguing that giving it back could damage his engagement.

Her parents think she’s making too much of it, she says, but she now plans to sue.

If it were your family’s necklace, would you sue your brother or drop it?

5. Accounts Left to an Only Child

An only child says their father died without a will, in a Reddit post that Newsweek covered in January 2025.

The post describes the father’s bank accounts as having a payable-on-death designation that names the only child.

Two siblings of the father contested the inheritance, the coverage says, and the only child refused to hand over any of it.

You have a choice: Share any of the money, or keep all of it.

6. A Will and a Tuition Request

If you named heirs in a will in your twenties, you might not think about it often.

A man says he rewrote his will at 24 so that his two sisters and their children would get everything.

He shared the story in a Reddit thread that Newsweek covered in June 2022.

One of his sisters, he says, thought he should cover her oldest child’s tuition.

He says he pointed out that he’d made the will at 24, and that his wife would inherit.

Settling Heirloom Disputes

ElderLawAnswers, a publication for elder-law attorneys, says many families can work out who gets heirlooms and other personal belongings on their own when nobody left directions.

A Money article quoted an expert on dividing family belongings who recommended waiting a few months after the funeral, until you can all meet in person.

Next, the article has each person name the items on their wish list, so you can see which ones are contested.

A financial planner quoted there said heirs can take turns picking items, and once the last heir has picked, the order runs in reverse.

A book author quoted there said valuable items such as antiques and jewelry should start with an appraisal.

The article adds that whoever wants an item can compensate the other heirs, in cash or with a smaller share of the inheritance.

Money’s answer for an item nobody wants is to sell it and divide the money.

Where relatives clash over particular items, ElderLawAnswers adds, estate attorneys frequently serve as mediators, and a trained mediator is another option.

Heirloom Lists in a Will

In many states, ElderLawAnswers says, a will can refer to a separate list of who gets which heirlooms and other belongings, and that list is then binding.

It adds that it’s wise to check with your lawyer before you change the list.

Your estate attorney can tell you whether such a list works in your state.

Pennsylvania’s No-Will Rules

Pennsylvania’s intestacy law sets the order of inheritance when someone dies without a will.

With children and no spouse, your children inherit everything.

With no spouse and no children, your parents inherit everything.

If you’re married, the split works differently.

Assets Outside Probate

Not every inheritance goes through probate.

Pennsylvania’s no-will rules apply only to property that goes through probate, according to Nolo.

When you’ve named a beneficiary on an account, the money usually goes to that person.