10 Common Phrases Virginians Should Never Start a Sentence With

Starting a sentence the wrong way can make you sound rude, confusing, or just plain awkward. Sometimes Virginians say things out of habit without realizing how they come across to others.

The way you begin a sentence can really change how people hear your message.

Whether you’re chatting with friends, talking to your boss, or writing something important, your first few words matter more than you think.

These are some phrases Virginians—and all Americans for that matter—should stop starting sentences with today.

No Offense, But…

When someone starts a sentence with “No offense,” it’s almost always followed by something that is actually kind of offensive.

Saying this doesn’t make your words less hurtful—it just gives people a heads-up that something rude is coming. That’s not the best way to keep a conversation friendly.

Even if you don’t mean to be mean, the phrase makes others feel like they need to brace themselves.

For example, saying “No offense, but your outfit is weird” isn’t helpful or kind. It might make the other person feel embarrassed or upset.

Instead of softening the blow, it usually just adds to the sting.

If you have something helpful to say, try to word it in a kind way without the “no offense” warning. You can give advice or share your opinion without sounding rude. People will listen more if they feel like you care about their feelings.

With All Due Respect…

This one sounds super fancy, right? But here’s the thing—it often doesn’t mean what it says.

“With all due respect” is usually followed by something that sounds like an insult. It’s like saying “I’m trying to be polite,” but then saying something not-so-polite right after.

People catch on to that pretty quickly.

Let’s say you’re talking to your coach and you say, “With all due respect, you don’t know what you’re doing.” That’s not going to go over well.

It feels like you’re pretending to be nice while throwing shade at someone. If you actually respect the person, there are better ways to disagree or share your thoughts.

Instead of using this phrase, just be clear and calm. Try something like, “I see your point, but I have a different idea.”

That way, you’re still being respectful without sounding fake or sarcastic.

To Be Honest…

When someone says “To be honest,” it makes it seem like they haven’t been honest up until now.

That’s not what most people mean, but that’s how it can come across. It makes others wonder if you’re always telling the truth.

People use this phrase when they want to share a strong opinion or say something personal.

That’s okay, but starting with “to be honest” might make others feel unsure about what you’re saying. It can also make your message sound more dramatic than it needs to be.

Instead, just say what you feel. You don’t need to explain that you’re being honest—it should be clear from your words and actions.

Being direct and thoughtful works better than adding a phrase that makes people second-guess your truthfulness.

I’m Not Racist, But…

Yikes. This is a sentence starter that should never, ever be used.

When someone begins with “I’m not racist,” it usually means they’re about to say something that definitely sounds racist.

This phrase doesn’t protect you from saying something wrong—it just makes people more alert for something offensive.

Even if you think you’re being careful, using this phrase can hurt others. People might think you don’t understand or care about how your words affect different communities.

If you’re not sure what you’re about to say is okay, take a moment to think before you speak. Ask yourself, “Would this make someone feel bad?”

If the answer is yes, it’s probably best to stay quiet or find a better way to say it.

I Don’t Mean to Be Rude, But…

Spoiler alert: if you say this, you’re probably about to be rude. It’s just like saying “no offense.”

People know what’s coming, and they usually don’t like it.

It’s a way of trying to sound polite while still being harsh—and it usually doesn’t fool anyone.

You might think this phrase makes your words easier to hear, but it really just puts people on the defensive. If someone told you, “I don’t mean to be rude, but you’re terrible at this,” would that feel any better than if they just said it outright?

Probably not.

If you’re worried about sounding rude, take a breath and think of a kinder way to say what you mean.

You can still be honest, but choose your words carefully.

Just Saying…

This phrase might seem harmless, but it often comes off as snarky or passive-aggressive.

People often add “just saying” after making a comment that could sound rude, bossy, or judgmental. It’s a way of pretending their words weren’t meant to cause trouble—even though they kind of were.

For example, if you tell someone, “That shirt doesn’t match your pants… just saying,” you’re not really being helpful.

You’re pointing something out in a way that sounds like you’re judging them, even if you try to act like you’re not. That can make people feel bad or annoyed.

Instead of brushing off your comments with “just saying,” think about whether they’re worth saying at all.

If it’s not helpful or kind, maybe keep it to yourself. People will appreciate your honesty more if it comes with care and not a side of sass.

Whatever…

“Whatever” might be one of the most frustrating words to hear at the start of a sentence.

It sounds like the speaker doesn’t care, doesn’t want to listen, or just wants to shut the conversation down.

Let’s say you’re in an argument and someone says, “Whatever, you’re wrong.” That kind of response ends the talk right there—and not in a good way.

It makes the other person feel dismissed, like their opinion doesn’t matter. That can lead to hurt feelings or even bigger problems for the relationship.

If you don’t agree with someone, try saying why in a calm and clear way.

You can stand up for yourself without sounding like you’ve stopped caring. Good conversations are about listening, not just brushing people off.

Calm Down…

Telling someone to “calm down” rarely helps. On the contrary, it usually makes them even more worked up.

People don’t like being told how to feel—especially when they’re already emotional. This phrase can sound bossy, dismissive, and even a little rude.

Imagine you’re really upset and someone says, “Calm down.” Does that make you feel better?

Probably not.

It might make you feel like your feelings don’t matter or that they think you’re overreacting. That’s not a good way to make someone feel heard.

If someone is upset, try saying something like, “I’m here for you,” or “Let’s take a minute to figure this out.”

That shows you care and want to help, instead of just shutting them down.

It’s Not My Fault…

This phrase is a classic way to dodge responsibility. When people start a sentence with “It’s not my fault,” they usually mean they don’t want to be blamed.

But instead of solving the problem, it can make things worse by sounding defensive or selfish.

Let’s say something went wrong in a group project and you say, “It’s not my fault the whole thing is a mess.” That might make your teammates upset, especially if everyone worked hard.

Blaming others without helping isn’t a good look.

A better way is to talk about what happened and what can be done next. Even if it wasn’t totally your fault, you can still be part of the solution.

People respect those who own up to things and try to fix them.

I Was Just Joking…

This one can be tricky. People often say “I was just joking” after they’ve said something that hurt someone else’s feelings.

It’s meant to make things feel lighter, but it can actually be pretty upsetting to the receiver.

When you start a sentence with “I was just joking,” it often comes right after you’ve said something mean, embarrassing, or awkward.

It’s usually used as a way to dodge responsibility for your words. But saying it doesn’t magically make the other person feel better.

Instead of saying sorry or trying to explain what you meant, you’re brushing it off like it was no big deal. It can also make it hard for others to trust you, especially if you use the phrase often.

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