11 Mistakes Virginians Make at High-End Restaurants

Going out to a fancy restaurant sounds like a treat, right? White tablecloths, quiet music, food that looks like it belongs in a magazine—what’s not to love?

But here’s the thing: high-end restaurants come with unspoken rules. It’s not just about eating. It’s about knowing how to act so you don’t stick out like someone who just wandered in from a food court.

Here are some common mistakes Virginians make at upscale restaurants that could cause the maître d’ to raise an eyebrow.

Not Understanding the Menu

At upscale places, the menu isn’t always straightforward. You might not see words like “chicken sandwich” or “side of fries.”

Instead, you’ll see things like “confit,” “gastrique,” or “truffle foam.” Some folks pretend they understand the whole thing, then end up ordering something totally different from what they expected—like cold duck pâté when they thought they were getting a duck roast.

Lots of people are too embarrassed to ask what something means. But that’s what servers are there for. If you don’t know what “beurre blanc” is, ask.

It’s better to ask a question than to fake it and get something you hate. Chefs spend hours perfecting those dishes, and it’s a shame to waste one because of confusion.

Also, don’t try to customize every little thing on the menu. Fancy restaurants aren’t fast-food joints. Asking for “no sauce, no cheese, sub the fish for steak” can mess up the chef’s vision.

If you have an allergy, speak up. Otherwise, trust the pros.

Overdoing the Outfit

Yes, you’re attending a nice restaurant, but that doesn’t mean you need to show up dressed for prom. On the flip side, wearing sweatpants and a hoodie won’t cut it either.

Some people go way too formal with tuxedos or ball gowns, while others show up at upscale restaurants looking like they just rolled out of bed.

Either way, it stands out in the wrong way.

Most high-end restaurants have dress codes, and they’re usually listed on the website.

“Business casual” doesn’t mean a neon tank top or flip-flops. It means neat, tidy, and comfortable. Think a button-up shirt, nice jeans, or a classy dress—nothing too wild, but still polished.

What you wear sends a message.

If you walk into a steakhouse with white tablecloths wearing a wrinkled T-shirt, it says you didn’t think the experience was worth dressing up for. On the other hand, if you wear a sparkly evening gown to a quiet French bistro, you might feel silly.

Treating Servers Like Servants

This one’s a biggie. Just because someone’s bringing your food doesn’t mean they’re your personal assistant.

Some customers snap their fingers, interrupt conversations, or talk down to the staff like they’re beneath them. It’s uncomfortable for everyone.

Servers at high-end places are professionals. Many have years of training and know the menu better than anyone. They’re there to guide your experience, not fetch you a condiment every five minutes.

Being polite, saying “please” and “thank you,” and treating them with respect goes a long way.

Also, don’t assume they’re invisible. They hear everything. Talking badly about the food or your table neighbors while your server is refilling your water?

Not a great idea. They’re not spies, but they are definitely paying attention.

Using the Wrong Fork (and Panicking About It)

The whole “which fork do I use?” thing has stressed out Americans who aren’t used to eating at high-end restaurants for decades. We get it—at such places, the table can look like a silverware showroom.

Forks on the left, knives on the right, tiny spoons up top—what do they all mean? Some customers panic and just grab whatever’s closest.

The rule is simple: Start from the outside and work your way in.

If the salad comes first, use the fork furthest from your plate. Then move inward as the courses go on. If you mess up, don’t sweat it. Most people don’t notice.

And honestly, the staff probably isn’t judging your fork game unless you start using the soup spoon for your steak.

It’s more about confidence than perfection. If you’re clumsy or unsure, take a breath and watch what others are doing. Or just ask the server discreetly.

It’s better than stabbing your escargot with a butter knife and wondering why it’s not working.

Treating It Like a Food Photo Shoot

We get it—your filet mignon looks amazing. But at some point, you have to stop snapping photos and eat it.

Some diners spend so long arranging their silverware and lighting up their dish with phone flashlights that their food goes cold before they take a bite.

It’s fine to take a quick photo or two. But don’t stand up at your table, zoom in for five angles, and demand everyone else wait before digging in. That’s annoying.

Also, high-end spots are usually about quiet enjoyment, not loud “oohs” and “ahhs” while filming a TikTok.

Plus, some chefs don’t love their food being posted online mid-bite. They put a lot of effort into plating. If the dish ends up on social media half-melted, it might not show the dish the way it was intended.

Respect the meal—and the mood.

Going Overboard on the Wine

Ordering wine at a fancy place can feel like being tested in a secret club. There’s a wine list that looks like a phone book, and suddenly someone’s asking you to sniff and swirl.

That’s when people start pretending they’re sommeliers—or they panic and just say, “Uhhh, red?”

First, don’t fake it. The sommelier is there to help, not to judge.

Tell them what you like. “I usually like cabernet” or “I don’t like anything too dry” gives them something to work with. They’ll pick something that fits both your taste and budget.

Second, when the wine comes, the little sip they pour isn’t to see if you like it. It’s to make sure it hasn’t gone bad.

You don’t need to give a speech. Just smell it, take a small taste, and give a polite nod.

Splitting the Check the Wrong Way

Trying to split a check at a fancy restaurant can turn into a mess real fast.

Some guests want to pay for just what they ordered down to the penny, while others expect everyone to divide it evenly. Add in someone who forgot their wallet, and now you’ve got a problem on your hands.

Many high-end spots don’t love splitting bills in ten different ways. Some won’t even do it. It slows down the staff and creates confusion.

If you’re dining with a group, plan ahead. Decide before dessert how the bill’s going to work so it doesn’t cause a scene later.

Also, tipping matters. Even if the restaurant includes a service charge, that doesn’t always cover the whole tip. Check the receipt.

If it says “gratuity included,” you’re probably fine. If it doesn’t, leave at least 18%.

Ordering the Most Expensive Thing Just to Impress

Some people open the menu and immediately pick the priciest thing, thinking it shows they have good taste.

But ordering the $145 Wagyu steak when you really wanted the duck confit doesn’t impress anyone if you don’t enjoy it.

Servers can usually tell when someone’s trying too hard. They may smile and nod, but behind the scenes, they’re wondering why you ordered a dry-aged bone-in tomahawk steak “well-done with ketchup.”

If you’re not used to rare meats or unfamiliar seafood, don’t fake it.

You’re not on a reality show. It’s okay to pick something mid-priced and savor every bite. The goal is to enjoy the experience, not win a menu-flexing contest.

Order what sounds good to you, not what you think sounds fancy.

Talking Too Loud

Fine dining is supposed to be a peaceful experience. The vibe is relaxed, with low music and hushed conversation.

But every now and then, someone forgets they’re not in a sports bar and starts talking like they’re trying to be heard over a marching band.

If your table is laughing too loudly or debating politics at full volume, chances are the other diners and staff notice—and not in a good way.

High-end restaurants spend a lot on acoustics to keep things calm. Don’t be the one who ruins it.

It’s fine to be cheerful and have fun, but use your indoor voice. If you wouldn’t say it that loud at a fancy wedding, don’t do it at a restaurant where the main course costs more than your weekly groceries.

Not Making a Reservation

Some folks walk into a top-tier restaurant on a Saturday night thinking it’s no big deal that they didn’t make a reservation.

Spoiler alert: They’re not getting in.

High-end places often book out days, even weeks in advance, especially in big cities or during holidays.

Showing up without a reservation puts the host in an awkward spot. They might be fully booked but too polite to turn you away harshly.

At best, you’ll wait a long time. At worst, you’re headed back to the car with a growling stomach.

Always call or book online first. And if you do have a reservation, show up on time.

Being 30 minutes late and expecting your table to be held is a no-go.

Wasting the Experience

When you’re at a high-end restaurant, the experience is about more than just the food. It’s about slowing down, savoring every bite, and enjoying the moment.

But some people rush through the meal like they’re late for a movie, barely noticing what they ate.

Others sit on their phones the entire time, texting or scrolling instead of appreciating the effort behind the dishes. Every item—from the fresh herbs in the sauce to the delicate way the dessert is plated—was crafted with care.

Ignoring that kind of detail is like walking through an art museum with your eyes closed.

If you’re spending that kind of money, make it count.

Pay attention to the flavors. Ask your server about the chef’s inspiration. Enjoy the pacing. A great meal is more than food—it’s a little adventure on a plate.

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