14 Forgotten Manners Every Pennsylvanian Parent Should Teach Their Children
There was a time when good manners weren’t just expected—they were a way of life in Pennsylvania. Children were raised to respect their elders, speak politely, and carry themselves with grace in public.
The older generation remembers those days well. Back then, no one left the table without asking to be excused, and “please” and “thank you” were second nature.
But in today’s fast-paced, screen-filled world, many of those timeless manners have started to fade. For the sake of future generations, these forgotten habits are worth dusting off and passing down again.
Holding the Door for Others
Older generations grew up believing that holding the door open was a basic act of kindness. It didn’t matter who the person was—young, old, stranger, or friend—you paused and held the door without being asked.
Nowadays, many kids walk through doors without checking if someone’s behind them.
Teaching children to notice others and offer small gestures like this encourages thoughtfulness. It also helps them understand that good manners are about being aware of those around them.
Greeting Adults and Friends Politely
Polite greetings were once the norm. Children were expected to say “hello,” “good morning,” or even “how do you do?” when seeing adults or neighbors.
It showed maturity and was a basic sign of good upbringing.
Now, many kids skip greetings altogether, especially when focused on devices or distracted by other things. Teaching them to offer polite hellos helps them make positive impressions and connect better with others.
Writing Thank-You Notes (or At Least Saying It)
The older generation remembers sitting at the table after birthdays or holidays, writing thank-you notes by hand. It was a way of acknowledging someone’s effort and expressing genuine gratitude.
While handwritten notes may seem outdated today, the habit of giving thanks (thankfully!) isn’t.
Whether it’s a quick call, a thoughtful message, or just a spoken thank-you, teaching children to express appreciation helps build character and deepen relationships.
Making Eye Contact During Conversations
There was a time when children were taught to look adults in the eye during conversations. It was a sign of respect and attentiveness. Making eye contact showed that the listener was paying attention and valued the speaker’s words.
Today, eye contact often takes a back seat to screens and distractions. Kids may mumble responses or stare at the floor instead.
Teaching children to maintain polite eye contact can help them build confidence and become better communicators in all areas of life.
Not Interrupting When Someone Is Speaking
Generations ago, interrupting was one of the fastest ways to get corrected. Children were taught to wait their turn and let others finish speaking.
It was considered respectful and showed self-control.
In modern conversations, interruptions are more common—especially among kids eager to share their thoughts. Teaching them to pause and listen teaches patience and respect. It also helps develop better listening habits that are valuable throughout life.
Saying “Excuse Me” When You Bump Into Someone
Older generations were taught to say “excuse me” whenever they accidentally bumped into someone or needed to get by. It didn’t matter how small the slip-up was—it was just the polite thing to do.
Now, many kids breeze past without saying anything. It may not be intentional, but it can come across as careless.
Encouraging children to say “excuse me” helps them take ownership of their actions and smooth over awkward moments with kindness.
Respecting Personal Space
Back in the day, respecting someone’s personal space was non-negotiable. Children were taught to keep their hands to themselves and to give others room—especially adults or anyone who seemed uncomfortable.
Today, with more relaxed social habits, personal space boundaries are often overlooked.
Teaching children to be mindful of how close they stand or how they interact with others helps them become more respectful and empathetic individuals.
Saying “Please” and “Thank You” Every Time
In the past, children were taught that saying “please” when asking and “thank you” when receiving was just part of being polite.
These words were expected in every situation—at home, in school, and out in public. They showed appreciation and reminded kids not to feel entitled.
Today, it’s common to see children make requests or accept help without saying a word. Without these simple phrases, interactions can feel cold or even rude. Teaching children to use these words regularly helps build humility, gratitude, and a respectful attitude toward others.
Chewing With Their Mouth Closed
Mealtime manners were once taken very seriously. Chewing with one’s mouth open or talking with food was quickly corrected. Children were taught that eating politely was just part of being considerate to others at the table.
Today, this habit is sometimes overlooked, especially in casual or rushed settings. But chewing with the mouth closed remains one of the most noticeable signs of good manners.
Teaching this again helps children become more pleasant dining companions, both at home and in public.
Using Kind Words Instead of Teasing
While teasing among kids has always existed, there used to be clearer lines about what was playful and what was hurtful.
Children were taught to be kind with their words and to apologize if they crossed a line.
Now, teasing can sometimes go too far, especially with social media making it easier to say things without thinking. Teaching kids to choose their words carefully and to treat others with kindness helps them build better friendships and avoid unnecessary hurt.
Helping Without Being Asked
Helping others used to be expected, not optional. If a neighbor dropped their groceries or someone needed help setting the table, kids stepped in—no questions asked. It was simply part of being raised right.
Today, some children wait to be told what to do.
But teaching them to look for chances to help on their own fosters responsibility and shows they care about others. These small acts of kindness are the building blocks of strong character.
Saying “I’m Sorry” and Meaning It
Apologies used to be more than just words. Children were taught to say “I’m sorry” sincerely—and to mean it. They were also expected to make amends if possible, whether that meant fixing a mistake or simply not repeating it.
Now, quick apologies are common, but they sometimes lack sincerity.
Teaching kids to truly take responsibility for their actions helps them learn empathy and maturity. It shows that they understand how their behavior affects others.
Waiting Their Turn
In earlier generations, waiting one’s turn was a key lesson from an early age. Whether in line at school, playing games, or speaking in a group, children learned to be patient and fair.
Today’s world moves fast, and patience is harder to come by. But waiting one’s turn remains an essential life skill.
It teaches fairness, respect, and self-control—qualities that help children succeed in social situations and group environments.
Saying Goodbye When Leaving
Leaving without saying goodbye was once seen as disrespectful. Children were taught to thank their hosts, say farewell, and show appreciation before heading out the door.
It left a positive impression and acknowledged the kindness of others.
Now, children sometimes disappear without a word, especially when distracted or in a hurry. Teaching them to say goodbye politely is a simple but meaningful habit that shows gratitude and wraps up interactions on a thoughtful note.
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