15 Taboos Virginians Know But No One Talks About

Taboos are, by definition, tough to talk about. They’re the unspoken things that our social customs forbid.

We may not discuss them openly, but we all know when someone breaks one. If someone stands too close to you while talking, is having an affair, or peels a hardboiled egg on a plane, you might give them a disapproving look (or more).

Even though we don’t typically discuss the forbidden social practices on this list out in the wild, they’re worth reading about. There are a few you might not have even realized were taboos.

1: Avoiding Eye Contact

Few people would ever think to discuss it, but avoiding eye contact is taboo in the U.S. In other countries, like Japan or Korea, averting one’s eyes is sometimes polite.

In America, if you don’t make eye contact with the bank teller, a police officer, or the guy delivering your groceries, it comes across as rude or even suspicious. According to MIT, in Western culture, eyes indicate where your focus is. So, making eye contact shows you’re interested in what the other person has to say.

2: Personal Space Issues

America is a sprawling country with plenty of room to spare. Perhaps that’s why we have such a broad definition of personal space.

Getting within arm’s length of someone who is not a family member, lover, or very close friend is a huge taboo in the U.S. According to the University of Louisville, Americans typically stand at least two to three feet apart.

3: Smoking, Even Where It’s Allowed

According to the CDC, less than 12% of Americans smoke, and many public and private venues have no-smoking rules. Still, smoking is allowed in many areas of the U.S.

That said, lighting up a cigarette, even in some places where it’s technically allowed, is taboo. You’re likely to get a dirty look or two if you smoke where anyone can see you.

4: Firearms

Firearm policy may be almost constantly in the news, but talking about it with acquaintances or anyone you don’t know well is a major no-no in much of the U.S. Telling people you own a firearm is like admitting some deep dark secret in many parts of the country.

In many spaces, even discussing current or proposed firearm policy is a good way to end a conversation. Weapon ownership in the U.S. is a sensitive topic at best.

5: Bringing Up Politics

Bringing up politics during polite conversation is taboo in the U.S. It may be all anyone reads about in the headlines or sees on the news, but sharing political opinions is sure to earn you a few unapproving looks.

Politics in the U.S. are divisive, and while many Americans like to believe that they can hold a civil conversation with someone who has opposing views, that’s not always true. Many people get emotional about their political beliefs, and conversations can get heated quickly.

6: Public Displays of Affection

Holding hands, a peck on the cheek, or a warm hug are all socially acceptable forms of public affection. Go too far, though, and you’ll run into taboo territory.

A couple that’s too lovey-dovey in public is bound to get a few disgusted stares. Americans want couples to show each other they care without getting too touchy-feely.

7: Honking

Car manufacturers give cars horns for good reasons. They provide an auditory warning that’s crucial for alerting others of your presence.

However, in the U.S., honking when it’s not absolutely necessary is taboo. Drivers who honk out of anger or frustration are looked down on by those who can control their emotions.

8: Making Too Much Eye Contact

Making eye contact when you’re talking to someone in the U.S. is socially acceptable. However, there’s such a thing as too much eye contact.

Letting your eyes lock with someone else’s during conversation can come off as creepy. Americans keep just enough eye contact to show interest, but not so much that the other person thinks they’re a sociopath.

9: Talking About Death

One of the few facts of life is that everyone will die. It’s not something we like to think about, though.

We don’t talk about it, either. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, only 36% of Americans discuss end-of-life plans with their loved ones in advance.

10: Not Taking the Shopping Cart Back

Maybe you’re in a hurry, or maybe you have screaming kids in the back seat. Whatever your reasoning, you might decide to leave your shopping cart in a planter or an adjacent parking spot instead of putting it back.

Most of us have been guilty of this at one point or another. Still, not taking the shopping cart back to its corral after loading your car is taboo in America, and few of us want to be caught doing it.

11: Food on a Plane

No one is saying you can’t eat on a plane, but certain foods are total taboos. While bringing your mixed nuts, crackers, and sliced fruit is okay, there are other things you should never unwrap on a plane, even if they sell them at the airport.

Expect a few dirty looks and maybe even an open complaint if you start peeling a hardboiled egg or pull out a tuna sandwich. The same goes for pungent curries, stinky cheeses, and anything else with a less-than-appealing aroma.

12: Evangelism

One of America’s founding principles is freedom of religion. Sharing your religious beliefs with others, though, is taboo.

Religious topics can quickly offend or spark arguments. So, many people choose not to discuss them with anyone outside their closest circle.

13: Letting Kids Roam

While it wasn’t always the case, an unsupervised childhood in the U.S. today is almost unheard of. Letting your children roam the neighborhood until the street lights come on is a total taboo.

Even though research shows there are major benefits to unsupervised play, American children rarely get to enjoy a few hours without a parent or guardian. Our society worries about predators and other dangers to such a degree that even seeing a child walking to or from school without an adult makes people nervous.

14: Spanking

Spanking your kids as a form of discipline is taboo in many American circles, but it’s still legal in most jurisdictions. We don’t like to talk about the fact that it’s within the law to hit or otherwise physically discipline children for misbehaving, and few parents would admit to resorting to that style of punishment.

That said, a 2019 study revealed that almost half (49%) of children ages 0-9 were spanked by their parents. Americans may not want to talk about it, but spanking still happens in mass.

15: Having an Affair

As the old adage goes, “All’s fair in love and war.” Except, that’s not exactly true.

Having an affair is a taboo, even if something as deep as love is at stake. And the majority of Americans disapprove of the practice. Still, over 20% of men and 19% of women admit to being philanderers.

Getting Less Taboo

Some American taboos are becoming more acceptable. According to Gallop, young Americans (age 18- 29) find fewer topics to be socially unacceptable than their older counterparts.

Topics that younger Americans said weren’t taboo included suicide, polygamy, and cloning. However, many young Americans still said extra-marital affairs were morally unacceptable.

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