18 Types of Buffet Customers You’ve Definitely Seen in Texas (and Perhaps Avoided)

Whether you’re at a small-town diner or a busy buffet in Texas, you’re bound to see some unforgettable characters.

The food might be self-serve, but the personalities are anything but quiet.

Some treat it like a mission. Others act like they own the place, and a few make you wish you’d just stayed home.

Let’s take a look at the buffet customers you’ve definitely seen, and maybe tried to avoid.

The Overloaded Plate Champion

This customer doesn’t believe in portion control. They pile food sky-high, balancing shrimp, ribs, mac and cheese, and a precarious slice of pizza all on one plate.

You can almost hear the internal chant: “Get my money’s worth.” They don’t want to make multiple trips if they can carry it all at once.

By the time they reach the table, a few noodles have already hit the floor and a chicken wing may have gone missing.

They return for seconds, sometimes thirds, and you can’t help but wonder how much actually gets eaten versus what ends up wasted.

The Salad Bar Pretender

They start off strong with greens and sliced tomatoes, giving off the illusion of making healthy choices. But that illusion ends quickly.

Before long, the lettuce is buried under cheese, bacon bits, croutons, and three ladles of ranch dressing.

They may add a few carrot shreds for good measure, but at that point it’s just decoration.

You’ll often hear them say, “I’m trying to eat light today,” as they follow it up with three slices of pie.

The Dessert First Rule-Breaker

While most people start with soup or salad, this customer heads straight to the sweet stuff.

Ice cream, pudding, and cookies hit their tray before a single vegetable does. Some don’t even bother pretending they’ll eat a real meal.

They may go back for savory food later, but only as a break between rounds of dessert.

Others stick to sugar the entire time and leave with a plate of brownies for the road.

The Slow Wanderer

This diner takes their time. They walk the buffet line slowly, reading every label and inspecting each tray like a food critic.

They hold up the line, poke at items with tongs, and sometimes circle back three times before making a single choice.

While others have eaten half a meal, the slow wanderer is still deciding between two types of pasta.

You try to be patient, but watching them linger by the mashed potatoes for five full minutes is a test of endurance.

The Rule Ignorer

This person skips the sneeze guard, uses their fingers, or brings their own containers from home.

They ignore signs that say “no outside food,” and might even dig through the tray to find a specific piece they want.

Buffet staff often keep a close eye on this customer, and for good reason. Hygiene doesn’t seem to be a concern.

Other diners quietly back away, hoping their paths don’t cross too closely in the line.

The Tiny Bite Sampler

This customer takes just a bite or two of everything. A spoonful of casserole, half a roll, one shrimp, and a sliver of lasagna all end up on their plate.

They aren’t trying to waste food. They just want to try it all. Every single item.

The result is a plate that looks more like a tasting menu than a meal. It’s colorful, scattered, and oddly fascinating.

They usually go back for round two, just as small and just as picky.

The Table Hoarder

This person stakes out a table like it’s a campsite. They spread out napkins, drinks, handbags, and jackets to claim space for their entire party.

They may even ask others not to sit there, even if no one else has arrived yet.

Sometimes, they guard the table while everyone else eats, waiting to rotate in when others return.

It’s not always rude, but it definitely makes things awkward for anyone looking for a place to sit.

The Buffet Backseat Chef

They have opinions about how the food should be cooked and aren’t afraid to share them. Loudly.

They complain that the roast beef is overdone, the pasta is underseasoned, or the fried chicken isn’t crispy enough.

Sometimes they flag down staff to request changes as if they’re ordering from a private chef.

Other times, they’ll loudly warn others to avoid certain items like they’re saving you from culinary disaster.

The Competitive Eater

This person treats the buffet like a contest. The goal isn’t to enjoy the food—it’s to eat more than anyone else.

They show up hungry, sometimes with a plan. Start with carbs, move to proteins, and finish with dessert to maximize volume.

Other diners glance over in disbelief as plate after plate disappears at lightning speed.

They often leave looking both proud and exhausted, like they just finished a race.

The Food Photographer

Before eating, this customer sets up their phone like it’s a professional shoot. Lighting, angles, and presentation matter more than temperature.

They’ll rearrange items on the plate, maybe even swipe a strawberry from someone else’s tray for the perfect pop of color.

Some take photos of every course. Others document the buffet layout itself, as if they’re reviewing it for a travel blog.

By the time they’re done, the food may be cold, but their social media is fully updated.

The Line Cutter

Everyone else is patiently waiting, but this customer swoops in from the side like the line doesn’t apply to them.

Sometimes they pretend they “didn’t see” the queue. Other times, they’re bold enough not to care who notices.

They may just want one quick scoop of something, but it still throws off the flow and annoys everyone behind them.

A few glares usually follow, but this person rarely seems bothered.

The Leftover Artist

This diner takes bits and pieces from their plate and creates strange combinations they insist are “genius.”

Mac and cheese with fried fish? Why not. Chocolate pudding next to meatloaf? It’s all going to the same place.

Sometimes they’re trying to avoid waste. Other times they just enjoy inventing new dishes with whatever’s left.

They’re not trying to impress anyone. They’re just living their buffet truth.

The Silent Stare-Downer

This person doesn’t say much, but they’re watching. They study what everyone else is doing and judge it with their eyes alone.

They notice how much you’re eating, how many trips you’ve made, and how you’re holding your plate.

They might not speak a word the entire time, but you still feel their gaze from across the dining room.

It’s part unsettling, part oddly funny—especially when you catch them doing it to someone else.

The Utensil Detective

This customer carefully inspects every fork, knife, and spoon at the utensil station before choosing one.

They hold each up to the light, double-check for water spots, and sometimes return several before settling.

The same goes for plates and cups. Nothing passes without a full inspection.

Their standards are high, and their selection process could rival a jeweler examining diamonds.

The Beverage Overloader

This diner brings back an entire drink tray like they’re serving a full table—even when they’re dining solo.

You’ll see two sodas, a lemonade, maybe even a chocolate milk, all crammed onto one tray.

Sometimes they’re just indecisive. Other times, they treat the drink station like a buffet of its own.

By the time they’ve finished eating, there’s usually a trail of half-sipped drinks left behind.

The Buffet Newbie

You can spot this person a mile away. They hesitate at the entrance, hold their tray awkwardly, and look unsure about where to start.

They might ask questions like “Do we just grab a plate?” or “Is this included in the price?”

Often, they’ll wander into the wrong line or accidentally walk the buffet in reverse order.

They’re easy to spot, but also easy to forgive. Everyone was new once.

The Buffet Veteran

This customer moves with quiet confidence. They know exactly where to go, what to grab, and when to skip an item.

They’re not flashy, but they’re efficient. Two balanced plates and a napkin tucked under the arm like a pro.

They often know the best times to visit, which items are freshest, and which desserts are worth skipping.

Watching them is like seeing a buffet masterclass in motion.

The Condiment Collector

This diner loads up on sauce packets, butter, and extra napkins like they’re stocking a personal pantry.