17 Old and Bizarre British Laws That Are Still Enforceable Today
The United Kingdom is an old monarchy, and it has some laws dating back to medieval times. It’s hard to fathom, but some of these archaic rules are still on the books.
There are laws about everything from “operating a cow” intoxicated to gambling in the library. And most of them are still enforceable.
These laws, from the fascinating to the downright bizarre, will likely leave you puzzled. But once you’ve read this list, at least you’ll know where it’s okay to fly a kite and why you should never play ding dong ditch.
1: Parliament Cannot Come to Work in Armor
This is a very old law, but it is technically still in effect. According to the Statue Forbidding Bearing of Armor (1313), the King forbids anyone in parliament from attending sessions with “force and armor.”
Edward II created this statute to stop violence in parliament. At the time, the pro-royalist Lancastrians and the anti-royalist Earl of Gloucester’s party were literally at each other’s throats.
2: No Operating a Cow While Intoxicated
Don’t ask us exactly what “operating a cow” means, but that’s what Section 12 of the Licensing Act 1872 forbids. The law also applies to steam engines, horses, and carriages on any public highway.
Given the time period in which legislators penned this law, it makes more sense. It’s essentially a don’t drink and drive law for the 19th century.
3: Don’t Get Drunk in a Pub
According to Section 12 of Licensing Act 1872, you can’t be drunk in a pub. The fine for doing so is £200.
Technically, this act applies to any public space, including public houses or pubs. So, if you’re going to have a beer or two at a local hangout in London, make sure you can hold your liquor first.
4: No Gambling in the Library
Technically, British rule-makers repealed this one in 2005, but it sat on the books for a long time. Apparently, a good number of British folks liked to gather and make bets in the library.
The law was part of the Library Offences Act of 1898, and some of the act’s legislation still stands. You still cannot use violent or abusive language in the library, and failing to leave the library after fixed hours can result in a fine.
5: No Walking Your Cow Down the Street During the Day
If you feel like taking your pet cow on a walk through any UK city, think again. According to the Metropolitan Streets Act 1867, walking a cow down the street between 10:00 am and 7:00 pm is against the law.
Now, if you want to walk your cow at night, that’s a different story; Feel free to go gallivanting down the street with your bovine pal but be sure to clean up after it. The Highway Act 1980 forbids leaving mud and cow dung on the roads.
6: No Taxi Riding With the Plague
Section 33 of the Public Health Act of 1984 states that anyone with a notifiable disease, such as the plague, smallpox, or cholera, cannot use public transport, including taxis, without first notifying the driver. Failure to do so results in a fine.
You also can’t check out a library book or enter certain public places. This makes sense from a public health standpoint, and British citizens should be thankful diseases like the plague are no longer prevalent.
7: Don’t Shake Your Rug Into the Street
The Metropolitan Street Act of 1839 forbids shaking your rug or doormat into the street. Presumably, this is to prevent littering passersby with dust and debris.
That said, if it’s before 8:00 am, rug shaking into the street is acceptable. So, as long as you’re starting your chores bright and early, you’ll avoid any trouble.
8: No Ding Dong Ditch
Many of us enjoyed a game of ding dong ditch when we were young and mischievous. But if you grew up in the U.K., playing this seemingly innocent game has consequences. The Metropolitan Act of 1839 forbids it.
According to the law, it’s illegal to knock on a door and then run away. Why legislators felt so strongly about ding dong ditching is unknown, but we suggest you avoid doing it if you’re in Great Britain.
9: Don’t Wear a Police Costume
In the U.S., dressing up as a police officer for Halloween or a costume party is fairly common. But if you’re in the U.K., you should find a different outfit.
The Police Act of 1996 makes it illegal to dress up like a police officer. It’s also a punishable offense to dress up as a member of the armed forces.
10: No Handling Salmon Suspiciously
Britain takes their salmon seriously. If you’re going to purchase a filet of fish in Scotland, England, Northern Ireland or Wales, you better be on your best behavior.
The Salmon Act of 1986 makes it illegal to suspiciously handle salmon and certain other fish, such as smelt and eel. The law also prohibits purchasing salmon that was taken or killed illegally.
11: Don’t Walk Around With a Plank of Wood
We’re not sure why you would walk down the street with a plank of wood, but according to the Metropolitan Police Act, doing so in the U.K. is illegal. You cannot carry a plank of wood up and down a metro-area street.
There are exceptions to this rule. If you’re moving the wood from the store or lumber yard to a vehicle for further transport, it’s fine to carry it.
12: No Kite Flying in Public
Flying a kite seems like a pretty innocent activity. Yet, the Metropolitan Police Act says it’s forbidden.
Section 54 of the act considers kite flying a “public nuisance by persons in thoroughfares.” So, you can’t fly a kite anywhere that it might cut someone off. Presumably, large open fields are okay, but be careful at public parks with walking paths!
13: Beached Whales Must Be Offered to the Monarch
In the U.K., a beached whale or sturgeon is the property of the reigning monarch. This law comes from Edward II, who believed the “head and spermaceti of a whale” should be given to the King or Queen out of respect.
Interestingly, the U.K. isn’t the only place with a law like this. Similar statutes exist in Iceland.
14: Keep Your Pigsty in the Back
If you’re going to keep pigs, your neighbors shouldn’t have to stare at their holdings. The U.K. is so serious about this idea that they turned it into law.
The Town Police Clauses Act 1847 states that you cannot place a pigsty in your front yard. You must also ensure that pigs are properly fenced so that they cannot escape, lest they become a “public nuisance.”
15: Pets Cannot Mate With Royal Animals
We can’t imagine many people having the chance to bring their pets to the palace to meet the King. But if you were to receive such a generous invitation, ensure your pets are spayed or neutered.
Letting your dog mate with a pet belonging to a royal family member is illegal. Up until 1965, it could even earn you the death penalty.
16: No Sliding on Icy Streets
Sliding down an icy street might be fun, but it’s also dangerous. And according to the Metropolitan Police Act, it can make you a public nuisance.
So, it’s best to avoid sliding down streets covered in ice. Of course, if you accidentally slip and slide, we imagine law enforcement will make an exception.
17: Don’t Harm the Swans
The monarchy has owned all of the mute swans in the U.K. for centuries. While taking a swan’s life isn’t high treason, as some sources claim, it is a punishable offense.
If you end the life of one of the King’s mute swans, you could incur a hefty fine of up to £5,000 (approximately $6,237). But other types of swans are free game.
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