21 Innocent Habits That Instantly Make You Seem Selfish to Californians

Nobody wakes up thinking, “I want to come across as selfish today.”

But even the tiniest things, things you don’t think twice about, can give off exactly that impression.

From skipping a thank you to leaving behind a mess, these small choices are more selfish than some Californians realize.

Cutting in Line, Even Subtly

People value fairness in lines.

Trying to slip ahead by pretending you “didn’t see the line” or hovering close to the front is noticed right away.

Even if it’s unintentional, it makes people think you believe your needs are more important than theirs.

In some cultures, this may not be a big deal. But in the U.S., line-cutting equals instant selfishness.

Not Returning Your Shopping Cart

This is one of the most universal “selfish” signals.

Leaving a cart stranded in the parking lot looks like you’re saying, “My time is more important than everyone else’s.”

It can block parking spaces, scratch cars, or just force someone else to deal with your mess.

Returning your cart is a simple test of basic consideration.

Talking Over the Waiter

Respect for servers is expected in the U.S.

So, when you talk over your waiter, ignore them mid-sentence, or treat them like background noise, others at the table notice.

It makes you look dismissive, self-centered, and, yes, selfish.

Talking Loudly on Speakerphone in Public

People are big on personal space, and that includes sound.

Taking a call on speaker in a grocery store or coffee shop might feel efficient, but it makes everyone else part of your conversation without their consent.

Even if you don’t think the volume is high, people around you can’t escape your voice. It reads as a disregard for their comfort.

Using earbuds or stepping outside solves the problem instantly.

Taking Up Two Parking Spaces

This one gets under people’s skin instantly.

Whether it’s a giant truck or a tiny car pulled diagonally, hogging two spots screams, “I don’t care about anyone else.”

Even if you’re trying to avoid scratches, the visual reads as selfish.

Talking Only About Yourself

Good communication involves back-and-forth conversation.

If you tell stories without asking a single question in return, people start to feel you don’t care about them.

You might just be enthusiastic, but the impression is still self-absorbed.

A simple “What about you?” changes the tone entirely.

Playing Music Without Headphones

In parks, gyms, or public transit, blasting your playlist without headphones is a quick way to be labeled inconsiderate.

Even if it’s music everyone likes, forcing people to hear it feels like taking over shared space.

Most peope see it as a disregard for others’ comfort.

Earbuds are cheap. The judgment you avoid is priceless.

Not Saying “Thank You”

Gratitude is basically social currency.

Failing to acknowledge a kind gesture, a held door, or a passed item comes across as selfish.

It doesn’t matter if you meant no harm; it’s noticed.

Letting Doors Slam Behind You

It’s a small act, but it carries weight.

Walking through and letting the door close on the person behind you signals you weren’t even thinking about them.

Even if you didn’t notice, it feels selfish.

A two-second glance back to hold it makes all the difference.

Showing Up Chronically Late

In the U.S., time is tied to respect.

If you show up late repeatedly, it signals that your schedule matters more than everyone else’s.

Even if traffic or delays are real, consistent lateness will make people think you’re selfish.

Punctuality is read as caring about others.

Taking the Last Piece Without Asking

Pizza, cake, or even donuts at the office, it doesn’t matter.

Grabbing the last piece without checking in with others comes off as greedy.

Most people would at least offer, even if they’re secretly hoping no one says yes.

The gesture matters as much as the food.

Talking Through Meetings

In workplace culture, dominating meetings is seen as inconsiderate.

Interrupting, side-chattering, or repeating yourself just to be heard makes others think you’re focused only on your own voice.

Collaboration is valued, and hogging the floor signals selfish motives.

Using “Reserved” Seating Without Asking

Sitting in someone’s clearly saved spot looks like you’re disregarding them.

Whether it’s a jacket draped on a chair or a marked seat at a sporting event, ignoring the signal comes across as inconsiderate.

Even if you think “finders keepers” applies, everyone else sees it as selfish.

Talking Over People in Conversations

There’s a fine line between enthusiastic interruption and cutting someone off.

Constantly talking over others makes you seem like you only care about your own words.

Even if you don’t mean it that way, it gets read as selfish.

Patience is a powerful social signal.

Letting Kids Run Wild in Public

Parents often don’t mean harm here, but it’s a hot-button issue.

Allowing children to scream, climb on things, or disrupt others in public feels inconsiderate to many people.

The parent is seen as prioritizing their own peace over everyone else’s experience.

Not Covering Your Cough

Health etiquette matters.

Coughing or sneezing openly in shared spaces is unequivocally inconsiderate, especially since the pandemic.

Even if you’re not sick, it feels careless.

A quick elbow cover or tissue shows respect.

Taking Forever at the Checkout

Fumbling with coupons, ignoring the line behind you, or holding up the register with small talk makes others think you don’t notice… or don’t care.

Even if you’re just disorganized, the impression is selfishness.

Efficiency is valued in these shared moments.

Ignoring Shared Chores at Work or Home

Whether it’s dishes in the sink or trash in the office, skipping your turn signals entitlement.

People see it as shifting your responsibility onto someone else.

Even if you’re busy, leaving a mess communicates self-priority.

Pitching in equally avoids resentment.

Using Speaker in Video Calls at Work

Even in remote culture, selfish signals exist.

Blasting a meeting on full volume without headphones can disturb everyone nearby.

It shows disregard for shared space, even in your own home if others live with you.

Headsets avoid the problem entirely.

Leaving Trash in Public Places

Whether it’s a coffee cup in a park or popcorn under a theater seat, most Americans view littering as selfish.

It signals you expect someone else to clean up after you.

Even if it’s “just one wrapper,” the message is clear.

Tidiness equals respect for others.

Expecting Special Treatment

It might not be intentional, but asking for “just a little exception” too often makes you seem selfish.

From skipping the line to demanding extra perks, it’s read as putting yourself above the group.

People notice patterns quickly.