32 Polite Answers to Rude Things Pennsylvanians Ask
You’re at a family dinner, halfway through your mashed potatoes, and here it comes: “So… when are you having kids?”
Great. Nothing like a personal pop quiz to go with your gravy.
Rude questions are everywhere in Pennsylvania—at work, on dates, in line at the DMV—and while you can’t always stop people from asking them, you can choose how to respond.
We’re here to help you keep your cool in these situations and hit ’em with a polite comeback that says, “I heard you, but also—don’t ask me that again.”
“How much money do you make?”
Unless you’re applying for a loan together, this question is way out of line. It’s personal, and depending on who’s asking, it can be loaded with judgment.
Some people ask because they’re curious. Others ask to compare. Either way, it’s your right to dodge it.
One polite way to answer is, “Enough to pay the bills and still enjoy the little things.” It gives nothing away, but it ends the conversation with a positive spin.
Or, if you want to go the humor route, try, “Let’s just say I’m not quitting my day job for a life of luxury—yet.”
If you’d rather set a firmer boundary, go with, “I like to keep finances private, but thanks for asking.” It’s respectful and direct, and most people will get the hint without you having to sound annoyed.
“When are you going to have kids?”
This question inevitably pops up at family gatherings where people seem to forget that not everyone wants (or can have) children.
While it might be well-meaning, it’s also very personal. Not everyone wants to explain their life choices or share private struggles just because Aunt Carol is curious.
A good way to keep it polite is to smile and say, “We’re just enjoying life right now and seeing where it takes us.” It keeps things vague, but kind. If you want to be a little more playful, try, “Right after we finish binge-watching every show ever made.” It adds humor without inviting more questions.
If you’re feeling bold but still classy, you can also say, “That’s a big decision, and we’re happy with where we are.” Short, sweet, and respectful.
You set the boundary without turning it into a debate or giving too much away.
“Why are you still single?”
This one always feels like it’s wearing a big blinking sign that says judgment alert.
Whether you’re happily single, just not in a relationship at the moment, or healing from something, your love life isn’t public property.
A polite reply that keeps things light is, “I’m just holding out for someone who checks all the boxes—and brings snacks.” It’s funny, friendly, and reminds people that being single isn’t a tragedy.
You can also say, “I’d rather wait than settle. I’m doing just fine in the meantime.”
If you need a more serious tone, “I’m focusing on things that matter to me right now,” works well. It shifts the conversation and shows you’re not interested in justifying your relationship status to anyone.
“Have you gained weight?”
This question is rude no matter how you slice it. Even if someone’s trying to pretend they’re being “concerned,” it’s not their place to comment on your body.
That said, you can answer with grace—and maybe a little sass.
A calm and classy answer is, “I’m feeling good, and that’s what matters to me.” That shuts the door without letting them drag you into a conversation about your body.
If you want to go a little cheeky, try, “Must be all that delicious living I’ve been doing!”
Another option? “I don’t really track things like that. I focus more on feeling strong and happy.” It’s kind, it’s true, and it reminds them to mind their own business without you having to spell it out.
“Don’t you think you’re a little old for that?”
This one usually shows up when you’re doing something fun, colorful, or a little outside the box—like dyeing your hair pink, joining a roller derby league, or wearing sparkly sneakers.
Some people just don’t get that age doesn’t come with a style rulebook.
A fun way to answer is, “Maybe, but luckily I didn’t ask for permission.” It’s confident without being nasty. Or you can say, “I’m just old enough to know exactly what makes me happy—and this does.”
If you’re looking to keep things polite but clear, say, “I believe fun has no expiration date.” It’s friendly and shuts down the idea that you have to stop doing things just because you hit a certain age.
“Why don’t you drink?”
This one gets asked a lot at parties or gatherings where people assume everyone is down for a cocktail or two.
But there are a million reasons someone might not drink—health, religion, recovery, or simply because they just don’t feel like it.
You can keep things simple with, “It’s just not my thing, but you go ahead and enjoy.” Or lighten the mood with, “I’m already weird enough without it—trust me.” People usually laugh and move on.
For a firmer but kind approach, try, “I’m much happier without it, so I stick to what works for me.”
No explanation needed, and no hard feelings either.
“When are you going to get a real job?”
This usually comes from someone who doesn’t understand creative work, gig jobs, or anything outside of a 9-to-5 office. Maybe you’re freelancing, starting your own business, or working part-time while studying.
Whatever it is, it’s still real work.
A polite response could be, “I actually love what I do—it may not be traditional, but it’s definitely real.” That keeps things positive and shows pride in your path.
Or go with, “Luckily, my job lets me pay the bills and enjoy life, so I’d say it’s working.”
And if they keep pressing, you can always say, “Success looks different for everyone—I’m happy with mine.” You don’t need to explain or defend your job to someone who clearly doesn’t get it.
“Why don’t you smile more?”
This comment usually gets thrown at women, but anyone can get hit with it. It’s not a compliment—it’s someone telling you how your face should look, which is honestly weird when you think about it.
A polite answer could be, “I’ll smile when I feel like it, but thanks for the tip.”
Or try, “This is just my thinking face—don’t worry, everything’s fine.” It keeps it light without letting them think you’re okay with being told how to look.
If you want to be more direct but still nice, go with, “I prefer to save my smiles for real reasons, not instructions.”
Boom. Clear, calm, and totally in control.
“Why don’t you have a house yet?”
Homeownership used to be the ultimate grown-up goal, but times have changed. Prices are wild, interest rates are high, and some people just don’t want to be tied down.
Still, some folks act like renting is a moral failure.
You can say, “I’m focused on flexibility and freedom right now—it works for me.” Or keep it playful with, “Still waiting for that magical listing where the house is perfect and only $10.”
Or just politely drop the truth: “Buying a house is a big decision, and I’m taking my time to do what’s best for me.” Nothing to argue with there.
“Why aren’t you friends with [insert name] anymore?”
Not everyone stays in your life forever. Friendships change. People grow apart.
But nosy people love to dig into drama that isn’t theirs to know.
You could say, “We’re just in different chapters right now—nothing dramatic.” That usually ends the questions.
Or, “We’re both focusing on different things. I wish them well.” That keeps it kind and shuts the door.
Want to throw in a little humor? Try, “Friend breakups don’t come with press releases, sorry!” It makes your point while keeping the mood light.
“You still live with your parents?”
In today’s world, living with family is more common than ever, but that doesn’t stop people from acting like it’s a scandal. Whether it’s financial, cultural, or just smart, it’s no one else’s business.
A solid answer is, “Yep—it works out great for all of us right now.” Or lighten the mood with, “Free food, laundry help, and emotional support? Who could say no?”
For a more direct approach, try, “It’s the best decision for where I’m at right now.” It’s polite and shows you’re not ashamed—because you shouldn’t be.
“You don’t want kids? You’ll change your mind.”
This one is often said with a smile, but it can feel like someone’s saying your life isn’t complete unless it follows their playbook.
Not cool.
A polite way to answer is, “I know myself, and I’m happy with the choices I’ve made.” Or a playful spin: “I’m more of a cool-aunt energy than a soccer-mom vibe.”
You can also say, “I respect everyone’s path, and this is the one that fits me best.” No need to debate—just remind them we’re all different, and that’s fine.
“Are you sure you should be wearing that?”
Whether it’s a crop top, bold pattern, or anything that makes someone else uncomfortable, this question isn’t about you—it’s about them. But it still stings if you’re not ready for it.
You could say, “I wear what makes me feel good—that’s all that matters.”
Or, “Luckily, I dress for myself, not for a dress code someone made up in their head.”
Alternatively, go full polite sass with, “If confidence could talk, it’d pick this outfit too.” That usually stops the comments before they start again.
“Why are you so quiet?”
Not everyone likes to talk a lot, especially in big groups or unfamiliar settings. Still, some people treat silence like it’s a problem to fix.
A nice way to answer is, “I’m just more of a listener—it’s how I learn.”
Or keep it funny with, “Saving my words for when I’m crowned trivia champion.”
If you want to set a gentle boundary, try, “I like to take it all in before jumping in. I’m just built that way.” No shame in being chill.
“Wow, you look tired.”
People say this like they’re concerned, but let’s be honest—it never feels like a compliment.
Most of us already know when we’re tired. We don’t need a public service announcement.
A polite comeback is, “Yep, been working hard lately—but I’m hanging in there.” Or, “That’s just my face—it’s doing its best today!”
Or go with the classic: “Thanks for noticing! I’ve been busy doing awesome stuff.” It’s upbeat, and it flips the script without being rude.
“Aren’t you too educated for that job?”
This one can come off as a dig, even if the person thinks they’re giving a compliment. It implies your job isn’t good enough for you—and that can be both awkward and annoying.
A polite response? “It’s a great fit for what I want right now.”
Or try, “There’s more to a job than a title—I’m happy with the work I’m doing.”
For something lighter, you can say, “I like to keep people guessing!” and give a smile. End of story.
“Why don’t you ever post on social media?”
We live in a world where people expect constant updates, but not everyone wants to live online. Some folks like privacy, peace, or just don’t care about filters and hashtags.
You can answer with, “I prefer to live in the moment instead of posting about it.”
Or, “I’m just not into sharing everything—I like keeping some things just for me.”
If you want to joke a bit, say, “My cat says I’m not photogenic enough for the internet.” It’s funny, it dodges the pressure, and it ends the convo fast.
“Are you pregnant?”
Unless someone is literally announcing a pregnancy, this question is best left unsaid. But unfortunately, some folks don’t get the memo.
Whether it’s a bloated day, a flowy dress, or just plain body shaming, this question crosses a major line.
A polite but firm answer might be, “Nope, just a regular human body doing regular human things.” Or, “No, but thanks for reminding me to never wear this outfit again.” That one’s lighthearted and gets the point across.
If you want to stay super neutral, try, “I’m not expecting anything except maybe dessert.” It dodges the question without making a scene, and most people will (hopefully) learn not to ask again.
“How old are you, anyway?”
This question pops up a lot, especially in certain social circles or industries where youth is weirdly prized. Whether you’re 22 or 82, your age doesn’t define your worth—and it sure doesn’t need to be a topic of discussion unless you want it to be.
A polite dodge is, “Old enough to know better, young enough to still enjoy it.” It’s cheeky and fun.
Or you can say, “Let’s just say I’m in the prime of my ‘don’t care what anyone thinks’ era.”
For a direct but kind answer, try, “I like to keep that to myself.” It respects your privacy and reminds people that they don’t always need to know everything.
“Why don’t you go to church?”
Religion is personal, but that doesn’t stop some people from poking around like they’ve been assigned to save your soul. Whether you’ve stepped away from organized religion or never participated to begin with, your beliefs—or lack of them—are your business.
A polite answer is, “I have my own way of connecting with what matters most to me.” That gives a respectful reply without opening the door to debate.
Or, try lightening it with, “I prefer to keep my spiritual side off the schedule.”
For a more direct route, go with, “I believe in respecting everyone’s path, including my own.” Simple, firm, and no sermon required.
“Don’t you want to settle down already?”
Whether you’re single, dating, or just doing your own thing, people love to act like your life is on pause until you pair off and buy a couch with someone. It’s outdated thinking, but it still shows up everywhere.
One polite response is, “I’m settled in the ways that matter—I just don’t believe in rushing.”
Or add a little humor with, “Why settle when I can upgrade?”
If you’d rather stay chill, say, “I’m enjoying life the way it is, and I’ll know when the time’s right.” It’s polite but makes it clear you’re not asking for input.
“Why don’t you ever come to family events?”
This one can come loaded with guilt, especially from relatives who don’t understand your schedule, energy levels, or boundaries. Sometimes you just can’t—or don’t want to—be around certain people.
You can answer kindly with, “I love you all, but I’ve needed to prioritize my own space lately.”
Or try, “Life’s been full, and I’m trying to recharge when I can.”
Want to keep it extra gentle? Say, “I’m working on finding balance, but I always care about everyone.” That way, you set your boundary without sounding distant or cold.
“What happened to your face/hair/outfit?”
Sometimes people ask questions that are downright rude, even if they try to disguise it with curiosity. Whether it’s acne, a new haircut, or an outfit they wouldn’t wear, comments like these can sting more than they seem to realize.
A polite way to answer is, “Just trying something new—it’s fun to switch things up.” Or, “It’s part of my style journey. Still figuring it out!”
And if you want to keep it breezy but set a limit, try, “I’m happy with it—and that’s what matters most.”
That lets them know you’re confident, even if they’re confused by your choices.
“Why do you talk about your feelings so much?”
Some people aren’t used to emotional openness, and when you’re the one being honest about how you feel, they might not know how to respond. But emotional honesty isn’t a weakness—it’s strength.
You can say, “I’ve found it really helps me stay balanced. Talking about things keeps them from piling up.”
Or try a little humor: “I’m just giving therapy a good return on investment.”
If you want to keep it short and sweet, go with, “Sharing helps me process—and it’s something that works for me.” That way, you’re not defending your feelings, just calmly stating a fact.
“Why didn’t you go to college?”
This question usually comes with a side of judgment, as if college is the only path to success. It’s not, and anyone who thinks that hasn’t looked around lately.
There are a million valid reasons someone might skip college—and they don’t owe an explanation.
You could respond with, “I chose a different path that works well for me.” Or go with, “Not all success stories start with a dorm room.” That keeps it light but makes a point.
For a more direct tone, say, “I’ve built a great life without college, and I’m proud of that.” Boom—no shade, no debate, just facts.
“Are you really going to eat all that?”
Whether you’re at a buffet or just treating yourself to a solid plate of comfort food, comments about how much you eat are out of line. You don’t need a food critic at your dinner table.
A simple, polite comeback? “Yep! I’ve been looking forward to this all day.”
Or laugh it off with, “Don’t worry—I’m a trained professional.”
If you want to be a little cheekier, say, “I didn’t realize there were limits. Should I sign a waiver?” That shuts it down and adds humor without getting snarky.
“Why don’t you dress up more?”
Some people expect everyone to look red-carpet ready at all times. But not everyone wants to wear heels, suits, or full-face makeup just to grab a coffee.
You get to define your style—not them.
Try saying, “I go for comfort over runway-ready—makes me feel more like myself.” Or lighten it up with, “I dress for the weather and my mood. Right now, both say ‘comfy.’”
For a more confident vibe, go with, “I’m not trying to impress—just trying to enjoy life.” Let ‘em know you’re dressing for happiness, not approval.
“Why are you always late?”
Maybe life is hectic. Maybe time management isn’t your superpower. Or maybe you’re just juggling too much and someone doesn’t get it.
Whatever the reason, no one likes being called out in a rude way.
A gentle but honest answer is, “I’m working on being better with time, and I appreciate your patience.”
Or keep it light: “Time and I have a complicated relationship.”
Or go with, “I do my best, but sometimes the day has other plans.” That way, you take some responsibility without letting it become a lecture.
“Why are you still working that job?”
Some people assume that if you’re not constantly climbing the career ladder, something’s wrong.
Maybe you’ve been at the same place for years, or maybe your job isn’t flashy. But you like it, and that’s what matters.
A polite response is, “It’s steady, it suits me, and it supports the life I want.”
Or add a little humor: “It may not be glamorous, but neither is paying bills—and I do that just fine.”
You could also say, “Success looks different for everyone, and I’m exactly where I want to be.” It keeps the tone calm while letting them know you’re content without needing their approval.
“Why don’t you just get over it?”
This usually gets tossed out when someone doesn’t want to hear about your feelings or thinks healing should be quick and tidy. But everyone processes things at their own pace.
A solid response is, “I’m working through it in my own time, and that’s okay.”
Or go light with, “If it were that easy, I’d be done already!”
Another good option? “I believe in giving myself the space to fully heal, not rush through it.” That way, you honor your process without inviting more comments.
“Do you really think that’s going to work out?”
This one often pops up when you’re chasing a dream, trying something new, or doing things differently. It’s the classic way people project their doubts onto you.
You can respond with, “I do—and I’m excited to see where it leads.”
Or keep it chill with, “Only one way to find out, right?”
If you want to show confidence without sounding defensive, go with, “I believe in trying. That’s how all the best things start.” Let your courage speak louder than their doubt.
“Why do you always talk about your pets?”
For animal lovers, pets are family. And yes, they’ll get talked about a lot. If someone finds that annoying, that’s kind of on them—not you.
A polite reply? “They’re a big part of my life, so they come up a lot.”
Or joke with, “They’re my furry coworkers—I gotta vent about someone.”
You could also say, “They bring me joy, and I love sharing that.” It’s honest and friendly, and it might even make them think twice about complaining.
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