7 Thanksgiving Hosting Fights Reddit Refereed, Sounding All Too Familiar to North Carolinians

Thanksgiving is Nov. 26 this year, so someone in your family group chat may already be asking who’s hosting.

Hosting is where family opinions get loud, and some people bring their fights to Reddit’s AITA forum, where strangers judge who was in the wrong.

Here are the hosting fights Reddit refereed, and North Carolinians may recognize a few.

1. Friends on the Guest List

In a 2024 post, a woman said she was hosting Thanksgiving at her mother’s house.

She says her cousin phoned to ask what time to arrive.

The cousin added that a few colleagues and friends of hers were asking what to contribute.

The poster told her those people weren’t invited.

The poster replied that the cousin comes across as unwelcoming to the people she’d like to invite whenever the cousin hosts.

The cousin countered that the poster already knew those friends through her.

The poster said she doesn’t count them as friends, only people she sees at the cousin’s place.

Then, in her telling, the cousin insulted her.

Would you have turned the friends away?

Many commenters ruled the poster not in the wrong, according to Newsweek, and the post drew about 4,500 upvotes.

Newsweek says it couldn’t verify the details.

Sharing your guest list with the family early can head off a call like this one.

2. A Menu Without Turkey

One Thanksgiving, a woman, 29, offered to host her family, according to Someecards.

She says she’d recently gone vegetarian.

Her menu skipped the turkey.

It featured a vegetable wellington, sweet potato casserole and pumpkin cheesecake.

She posted the menu in the family chat weeks beforehand, she says, and heard little back.

Many relatives seemed willing to try it.

Her uncle, 62, grumbled, she wrote, while his wife snacked on a granola bar she’d brought along.

Later she overheard him tell her mother that she’d spoiled the day by pushing her views on the family.

She asked the forum, in her post, whether leaving out the turkey was a mistake.

The comments Someecards highlights mostly ruled her in the wrong.

Some commenters said her relatives should have raised their concerns sooner.

Does a menu posted in the group chat count as asking your family?

3. Whose Dishes Make the Menu

A 2024 post covered by Newsweek came from someone who was supposed to host Thanksgiving.

The poster asked a sister to bring wine or flowers instead of food, after disappointing results in past years.

The poster says the sister felt excluded and announced that her green bean casserole was coming regardless.

The poster says the host’s mother and other relatives pressed to give in.

In an update, the poster wrote that the sister had begun billing herself as the day’s chef and teasing a surprise centerpiece.

The poster’s mother then asked the poster to give the sister room to lead, leaving decorations and drinks for the host.

Commenters split, according to Newsweek, with many backing the host and others questioning whether it deserved a standoff.

The most-upvoted reply, at roughly 6,700 upvotes, asked why the host hadn’t canceled and let the sister host instead.

The post drew about 8,500 upvotes and 4,300 comments.

Newsweek says it couldn’t verify the details.

Assigning each guest a category, such as drinks or sides, lets you say yes without giving up the menu.

4. Ten Years of Hosting

After a decade of hosting Thanksgiving, a woman of 40 with six sisters wanted a year off, Fox News Digital reported in 2024.

Her husband helps, she says, but much of the planning and cooking falls on her.

She floated the idea in the family chat of a sister taking over that year.

She says both older sisters objected, citing busy schedules, small houses and no energy to host.

They said her experience made her the one to keep it going, and they accused her of putting herself first.

She added that one older sister already hosts Christmas, with a caterer, and shouldn’t have to host both holidays.

She asked Reddit if she’d be wrong to say no after a decade.

The outlet reports more than 2,500 reactions and over 700 comments.

Commenters largely sided with her, and the top reply said she wasn’t in the wrong.

If you’ve been the default host for years, giving relatives notice well ahead leaves room for someone else to step up.

5. A Gluten-Free Dish Turned Away

In a 2022 post, a man said he and his wife were hosting Thanksgiving.

The man’s sister then passed along news about her 21-year-old daughter’s new gluten-free eating.

He told her the niece could have the pie, the sweet potato casserole, the gravy and the turkey.

He says his sister then said she’d bring a special dish for her daughter.

He wrote that he refused because he didn’t want to upset his wife over what he saw as a competitive streak in his sister.

By his account, half the family now thought he was out of line.

His wife started urging him to hand hosting off to someone else.

SnackSafely reports the post drew more than 3,000 upvotes and 1,400 comments.

In an update, he wrote that he’d read the comments calling him in the wrong and now saw their point.

He added that his wife and sister were planning the food together.

Your table can spare a little room for a guest’s extra dish, which beats a family standoff.

6. A Vegan Menu Standoff

At Thanksgiving, who adapts when one guest’s diet clashes with the family’s menu?

A 31-year-old woman faced that question in 2024, according to Fox News Digital.

She says her brother, 35, who’s vegan, insisted the year before that their mother cook something meatless, at the very least.

Now she owns the house that used to be her parents’, and her mother asked her to host, same as always.

She says the brother’s partner offered vegan swaps for the traditional dishes.

The couple argued with her about it for days, she says.

They said they’d skip any meal with meat on the table.

Her mother asked her to repeat the previous year’s menu to keep the peace.

Her father agrees with her, she says, but he’s worried about what happens if her brother stays home.

She told Fox News Digital she may work a hospital shift so she’d have an excuse to cancel.

Reddit users largely ruled her not in the wrong.

Asking early which dishes a guest can’t eat may leave you adjusting only a dish or two.

7. 20 or More Guests, One Cook

In a 2021 post, a woman said she’d been the only cook at her fiancé’s family Thanksgiving for four years, a crowd of 20 or more.

The work starts the night before, she wrote, and fills the next day.

By dinner, she’s too tired to enjoy the meal.

She says thanks are rare, and the leftovers usually go home with the family.

That year, she told him she was done cooking and that he could bring in catering if he preferred to be the host.

She says he objected that Thanksgiving is a family tradition and everyone was already coming.

He also asked whether she’d at least make a packaged stuffing mix.

Since then, she says, he hasn’t said a word to her.

In her account, he later called off Thanksgiving altogether, annoyed that she’d shared the dispute online.

Commenters largely backed her, Newsweek reports, with more than 18,000 votes and 1,700 comments.

Raising a caterer or a shared menu well ahead gives your family time to plan.

What Emily Post Says

The Emily Post Institute says Thanksgiving hosts should send invitations at least a month ahead.

With Thanksgiving on Nov. 26, that puts your window around Monday, Oct. 26.

On guest lists, the Institute says to review yours with everyone in your household.

It also says a guest who wants to bring one more person should talk to the host first.

On diets, the Institute says a guest with special needs can offer to bring a dish, and hosts should accept such offers.

On workload, it says hosts should assign tasks, from greeting guests to setting the table.

Guest Dishes and the Two-Hour Rule

For a family's Thanksgiving table, the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) says perishable food left at room temperature longer than two hours is unsafe.

You have to get leftovers into the refrigerator within two hours after you serve.