19 Hurdles Women Face Who Choose Not To Have Children
The child-free movement is gaining steam, and more women now than ever before are choosing not to have children. Like any decision, though, this one comes with no lack of hurdles.
These are some of the biggest challenges women who don’t want children encounter among family, friends, and strangers.
1: Dating Difficulties
Dating as a woman who doesn’t want children is no easy feat. Eligible partners are often looking to settle down and start a family, not just settle down. The second a woman announces she doesn’t want kids, some would-be significant others start looking for the exit.
2: Guilt Trips
Parents, grandparents, and even siblings may feel entitled to see the family line live on. When a woman says they’re not going to reproduce, other family members might push back with a slew of passive-aggressive remarks.
3: Cancer Risk
Studies show pregnancy and breastfeeding reduce the risk of breast cancer in women. Long-term hormonal contraception use, which many child-free women rely on, may also increase cancer risks.
4: Poorer Health Overall
Some studies show child-free women have lower health indicators than women who have children. However, having more than five children also led to significantly poorer health, as did having a child before 18.
5: Loneliness
Not having children doesn’t mean you have to spend your life alone, but as a woman, it can mean a higher chance of isolation, especially later in life. Women often outlive their male counterparts, and without children to visit them, they may find themselves lacking social interaction.
6: Drinking Culture
Research shows that women who don’t have children by the age of 35 are at a higher risk for excessive alcohol consumption and binge drinking disorders. Social media and marketing that target women in their thirties may be partially to blame.
7: Living Alone
Child-free women who aren’t in a serious relationship often end up living alone. While living alone has benefits, it also increases the risk of social isolation, which in turn increases the risk of premature death from all causes.
8: Shorter Life Span
Studies indicate that having children can lead to a longer lifespan. This may be due to the increased chance for social interactions among parents and the fact that children keep their mothers’ minds active. Child-free women may be able to mimic these effects with a healthy social life and continued learning.
9: Lack of Caretakers
As women without children age, they may face more difficulties finding help at home. Parents often rely on their offspring to help navigate the challenges that aging brings, whether it be driving them to doctor’s appointments or helping them recover from surgery. Child-free women have to seek help elsewhere.
10: Social Stigma
Being child-free doesn’t carry quite the negative social stigma that it used to, but it’s far from being the norm. It can be hard to live a life that most people don’t understand and that some look down on.
11: No Heirs
This point is a privileged position to be in, and far from a true problem: Without children, deciding who to leave one’s wealth and heirlooms to may be trickier. Donating certain assets to charity is often straightforward, but deciding what to do with things like one’s mother’s wedding ring or their grandmother’s china might be harder. According to a Business Wire survey, 71% of people anticipating the receipt of an inheritance within the next decade expect it to be from a parent.
12: FOMO
There are many reasons to choose not to have children, and there are a slew of benefits that come with that choice. Still, it doesn’t mean women never question their decision. Some may even have bouts of worry that they’ve missed out on an important life experience, creating FOMO (fear of missing out).
13: Unsupportive Medical Providers
Given some of the risks and side effects of hormonal contraception, women who choose not to have children may want to pursue sterilization. However, physicians are sometimes unwilling to perform the procedure.
14: Picking Up the Mom Slack
Women without children may find they end up covering more often for parents at their place of employment. Employers, especially those who have children themselves, may give parents preferential treatment when it comes to leaving early or taking extra time off, leaving childless employees to pick up the slack.
15: Intrusive Questions
Few women who have children are ever asked why they decided to have them. A woman who doesn’t have children, though, is often subject to personal interrogations about their decision.
16: Higher Rates of Depression
While some research points to child-free women having a higher quality of life in their youth, upon reaching middle age, they are more likely to report depression. Depression is especially high among women who were formerly married and didn’t have children.
17: Underrepresentation
While the wealthy forever bachelor or childless man is an entertainment trope, child-free women worth emulating are rare in movies, books, and shows. They may also be underrepresented in research studies.
18: Family Resentment
When a woman chooses not to have children, they may face resentment from other family members. Siblings who choose to have kids might be jealous of the child-free woman’s freedom, or they may be upset that their child-free sister isn’t providing cousins to play with.
19: Many Impositions
Child-free women may find that those with children assume being child-free is synonymous with free time. Requests to pet sit, house sit, and even babysit can be frequent, and often, there’s a built-in assumption that the answer will be yes.
The Child-Free Trend
In 2022, there were 21.9 million American women ages 21-39 who had not given birth. That’s 4.7 million more women than experts expected based on fertility patterns.
Not What We Thought
The initial slump in American births began during the Great Recession. At the time, experts believed that women would simply have children later and the decline would correct itself. Instead, it’s become more pronounced.
Why No Kids
The reasons to remain child-free are varied, but it often comes down to women saying they simply don’t want kids. Researchers believe this is the result of more education and career opportunities for women.
More Educated
There are slightly more childless women with college degrees than mothers with college degrees, giving fuel to the idea that more education leads to fewer children. However, the gap is highest among women with bachelor’s degrees, then decreases with Master’s degrees and PhDs.
Many Benefits
While there are obstacles for child-free women, there are also many benefits, including lifestyle freedom and greater wealth for those who manage their income well.
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