25 Common Life Traps Most Americans Fall Into, and It Needs To Stop
Sometimes, it takes someone (or something, like this article) to help a person break free of unhealthy thought patterns. According to Northside Mental Health, even people with the best childhoods experienced some form of trauma in their lives that led to them getting caught up in life traps.
We’re not talking about the kind of trap that you physically walk into. Instead, the life traps we’ll be referring to are the repetition of self-defeating thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that often develop due to an unmet emotional need.
Mindfully American combed the internet and reflected on our personal experiences to develop this list of some of the most common life traps that Americans face. This is by no means an exhaustive list, and some of these traps are so universal that you may find yourself nodding your head at several of them.
1: Too Late
It’s rarely too late to try doing something new, but this is a line that many people tell themselves. Believing that there’s no point in trying something because someone else has already done it is a big ole life trap. It’s also one that can prevent you from personal or financial growth.
2: Relying on Others
Handing over the reins to others is one of the biggest life traps adults fall into. At the end of the day, no one can fix your problems but you, and you must be your own advocate.
3: Perfect Fail
Waiting for everything to be perfect before taking action is a life trap that holds far too many people back. Whether it be the “perfect” soulmate, job, or house, waiting for the situation to be exactly how you dreamed it would be often results in good opportunities passing you by.
4: Nostalgia Bias
Saying things were better in “the good old days” is a phrase that rolls off many Americans’ tongues. However, this is often more of a mechanism to cope with present-day issues by idealizing the past rather than reflecting on the facts. Case in point? American women couldn’t apply for a credit card in their own name until 1974, and child mortality rates in the U.S. went from over 460 fatalities per 1,000 children in 1800 to seven fatalities per 100,000 children in 2020.
5: Credit Card Woes
Believing that everyone needs a credit card to build credit is a life trap some people fall into. Yes, credit cards can be an excellent tool for building credit. However, Americans who hold balances on their credit cards damage their credit. Take control of your credit card by paying it off each month instead of letting the credit card companies control you.
6: Being Self Conscious
If you care too much about what other people think of you, you’re falling into a classic life trap. Note that we said “too much;” Caring a bit about what others think plays a healthy role in social settings, for it helps you connect with other people. That said, caring what others think for fear that they’ll be critical of you is where it’s not worth wasting your time over.
7: Not Letting Go
Holding onto the past is the trap of a lifetime, for replaying thoughts can literally occur over the entire course of one’s life. While it’s easier said than done, accepting the situation for what it is, forgiving yourself or others when applicable, and moving on to be the best version of yourself you can be is far more productive than ruminating about something you can’t change.
8: Picking the Wrong Partner
It may sound obvious, but marrying or living with someone who mistreats you is a big life trap. Unfortunately, for the person in the relationship, it’s not always as obvious as it is to people on the outside.
9: FOMO
FOMO (fear of missing out) causes people to react in the moment, causing them to recognize their actions as a life trap later on. From buying a more expensive car than one can afford to canceling important plans to attend a concert, FOMO causes otherwise rational people to be irrational.
10: Sunk-Cost Fallacy
The sunk-cost fallacy is the idea that a person puts so much time, money, or other resources into something that isn’t benefiting them that they won’t give it up because of all the resources they’ve invested. For example, staying at a company you hate because you’ve put so much time and effort into learning your job and don’t want to start the process over again at a new company.
11: Too Philosophical
Philosophy has its advantages, but sometimes it can go too far. For example, constantly wondering, “What’s the point of life?” can lead to a depressing life trap, preventing you from living a productive life in the present.
12: Lifestyle Creep
Lifestyle creep, the concept of gradually purchasing items you don’t need or more expensive things to keep up with your peers, is a big fat adult life trap. While there’s nothing wrong with increasing your comforts in moderation as you earn more money, your older self will thank you for tucking lots away for retirement.
13: Frozen in Place
Choosing not to do anything because of the fear of rejection is a life trap that many people can relate to. There’s also another branch to Do Nothing’s cousin: Choosing not to do anything because once you do said thing, it could limit your other options. As the American Psychological Association discusses, having too many choices can cause a person to become fatigued and less productive.
14: Other Voices
A disheartening life trap that many Americans don’t realize they’re in is making choices to be successful in the eyes of other people rather than defining success for themselves. Provided you’re not harming anyone else in the process, you, and only you, should define what your version of success looks like.
15: Now or Never
Putting things off until tomorrow, next month, or years from now is a life trap that keeps people down. While kids can get away with putting things off because an adult usually picks up the slack, once a person reaches adulthood, the consequences of putting things off for another time can be brutal.
16: Money Over Mind
We all know of or have been in the shoes of someone who keeps a job they hate because of good pay. While there’s something to be said for keeping a job that one loathes in the name of putting food on the table, being complacent about it by not looking for something else because you assume you won’t get paid as well is a huge life trap.
17: Multi-Level Marketing
Just because multi-level marketing is legal in the U.S. doesn’t mean it isn’t a life trap akin to pyramid schemes. Some experts even go as far as to describe multi-level marketing schemes as being like a cult.
18: Three Words
If you had to sum up three of life’s biggest traps, they could be debt, regret, and fear. The irony? Building up debt over the fear of regret if you were to miss out on something leaves many Americans discovering they fell into the life trap of giving into one’s emotions too late.
19: Comparisons
Comparing yourself to other people is one of the worst life traps people fall victim to. While BetterHelp points out that there are healthy ways to go about comparisons, such as getting inspired to eat healthier or work out, comparisons can also lead to low self-esteem and even depression.
20: Costly Weddings
The belief that a couple should spend a lot of money on a wedding is a relationship trap that can lead to financial strain between newlyweds. In 2023, the average cost of an American wedding was $30,119.
21: Fixing Toxicity
Entering into a toxic relationship with one person believing they can “fix” their partner is a huge life trap that some people fall into. The result often leads to the fixer getting hurt.
22: Imposter Syndrome
Many people feel imposter syndrome at some point in their lives, but stopping yourself from continuing with whatever makes you feel that way is a life trap. Instead, experts recommend that to get rid of imposter syndrome, you must change how you think of your own abilities. Getting additional training or education to further your abilities can help.
23: Graduate Fail
A life trap that more Americans are becoming aware of is the concept that by graduating college, you’re guaranteed a high-paying job. Depending on your career and the economy at the time of graduation, that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
24: Offspring
Societal pressure that having kids is the only way to live a fulfilling life is a huge life trap. Starting a family because it’s what society says, to save one’s marriage, because of pressure from one’s family/religion/culture, or to have children by a certain milestone age all fall into the life trap category.
25: The Urge Is Real
A humorous but oh-so-true life trap that most of us have experienced is avoiding getting out of our comfy bed to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. You often lose more sleep by trying to avoid going to the bathroom than getting up the moment the urge strikes.
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