9 Funny Excuses Arkansas Women Can Use to Bail on a Boring Date
Bad dates happen to the best of us. Whether it’s someone who won’t stop talking about their ex, a person who insists pineapple belongs on pizza like it’s a personality trait, or someone who just gives off major red flags, sometimes you need an escape plan.
Instead of suffering through a night of boredom, awkwardness, or outright discomfort in Arkansas, here are some funny (but totally usable, if you have the guts) excuses to make your getaway.
Just consider yourself warned—you’ll want to be sure that you truly don’t want to see your date again before using these.
It’ll be hard to undo the damage.
My Psychic Just Texted That This Date Has No Future
If the chemistry is off with your date and you want out, pull out your phone, stare at it for a second, then gasp dramatically before saying the following:
“Oh, wow! My psychic just texted me. She says this date has absolutely no future.”
For extra flair, shake your head solemnly and say, “She’s never wrong.”
My WiFi Just Went Down, and I Need to Fix It
Look up suddenly as if receiving a notification, then sigh and say, “Ugh, my WiFi just went down. I have to get home before my router decides to completely give up.”
If they question why it’s urgent, just say, “I live with a ghost who gets really annoyed when Netflix won’t load.”
Then thank them for their time and leave.
I Just Remembered My Houseplants Need Watering Immediately
Look at your phone, let out a small gasp, and say, “Oh no, my plants! I completely forgot to water them today. My fern is very sensitive.”
For extra drama, shake your head and mutter, “Not again… I can’t lose another one.”
Then stand up and hurry out, looking genuinely distressed.
My Grandma Just Invited Me to Fight Club
If you need a mid-date excuse to leave, announce that your grandma just invited you to her underground fight club, and you can’t miss it.
“She’s defending her title tonight, and if I’m not there to support her, I’ll be disowned.”
For extra flair, crack your knuckles and say, “Family first.” Then make a dramatic exit before they have time to ask follow-up questions.
If they seem intrigued, just sigh and say, “Sorry, first rule of Grandma’s Fight Club is we don’t talk about Grandma’s Fight Club.”
My Fortune Cookie Told Me to Leave Immediately
Can’t stand another minute on your date? Grab your phone, pretend to check an old photo, and say, “Oh my gosh. I just remembered the fortune cookie I got at lunch today literally said, ‘Leave your current situation immediately.’”
Act serious, hold up your phone (even if there’s no picture of a fortune cookie), and say, “I can’t ignore a direct message from the universe.”
Then get up and walk out as if fate itself is guiding your every step.
I Just Remembered I’m on a Juice Cleanse – and You Ordered Fries
If you want a reason that feels both ridiculous and semi-believable, tell your date that you suddenly remembered you’re on a strict juice cleanse and that even being near their plate of fries is ruining your “detox.”
Put a hand to your forehead dramatically and say, “I can feel the toxins re-entering my body.”
Then sigh and say, “I have to leave before my chakras unbalance completely.” Whether they believe you or not, they’ll probably be too amused to stop you.
My Pet Psychic Just Called With an Emergency
Telling your date that your pet psychic just called with urgent news about your dog’s past life is one way to make a grand exit.
It’s weird enough that they probably won’t question it. And if they do, just look deeply concerned and mutter something about “the spirits needing closure.”
Of course, it’s best to use this excuse if your date already knows you’re a pet owner. You can say something along the lines of “Fido has been restless lately. I knew something was up.”
My Mom Just Matched With You on a Dating App
Nothing clears a room faster than the idea of dating someone your mom might also be interested in.
Assuming you two met through a dating app and if a date becomes too unbearable, grab your phone, pretend to look shocked, and say, “Oh no… My mom just matched with you on Hinge.”
For added drama, let out a horrified whisper: “She just texted me saying she really likes your profile.”
Bonus points if you fake-call your “mom” and say, “No, you CANNOT go out with him. I saw him first!”
I Turn Into a Pumpkin at 9 PM
If you’re looking for a more fairytale-inspired exit, tell your date you have a rare but serious medical condition where you physically turn into a pumpkin if you’re out too late.
Start checking the time nervously and muttering, “It’s happening… I can feel the vines.”
The key is to be completely deadpan while saying it. You might get a weird look, but most people won’t have the energy to argue with a person who claims to undergo spontaneous vegetable transformations.
Plus, it beats the old “I have an early morning” excuse.
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