A Dad Planned to Leave His Stepson an Equal Share. Here’s What He Did After Reddit Weighed In. Would You Do the Same, New Yorkers?

When you write your will, you decide who gets what.

But a stepchild can make that more complicated.

One dad wrote that he planned to give his stepson the same share as each of his adult children.

He asked strangers online to judge it.

Here’s what he did after Reddit weighed in. What’s your take on it, New Yorkers?

Note: This is general information, not legal or financial advice. Estate rules and dollar amounts are subject to change.

The Family and the Plan

A man described his estate plan in a 2022 post on Reddit’s popular AITA forum, where people ask strangers to judge whether they were in the wrong.

Newsweek reports that he was 62 when he posted and had been married for two years to a 39-year-old woman whose son, 12, lived with him full time.

In that account, he had two adult children, 34 and 32.

He described himself as distant from them when they were young, but said his business grew in part thanks to their help.

Newsweek adds that his first plan gave every child a 20 percent slice and his wife 30 percent, and Scary Mommy says that meant the three kids, his stepson included, would split 60 percent.

Why His Adult Kids Objected

The stepson’s equal share upset the man’s two adult children, who told him it was unfair, according to his post.

Newsweek says the topic of their inheritance came up a few weeks earlier, while he was in the basement with his adult children.

In his plan, the business would stay with his biological children, though his wife or stepson could join if they wanted.

Scary Mommy adds that he described the boy as seeing him more as a close uncle than as a dad.

How Reddit Ruled

Commenters on the dad’s post largely sided with his adult children, Newsweek reports.

Per Newsweek, the post earned upwards of 6,000 upvotes, with a comment section topping 3,000.

The replies Newsweek highlights made several arguments.

One argument held that biological children should come before a stepson.

A second argument said his adult children weren’t being greedy by objecting.

A third argument warned that a small inheritance can make grown children feel their parent loved them less.

Other Views in the Thread

Newsweek notes commenters who said a smaller amount for the boy would be fine.

Scary Mommy points to one popular comment that took the dad’s side and called the estate his to leave as he chose.

Another comment it highlights pointed to a college fund and a little cash for the boy.

The Revised Split

Scary Mommy reports that the dad updated his post after replies backing his kids started coming in.

His update, per Newsweek, put the plan at 30 percent for each adult child, 25 percent for his wife and 10 percent for his stepson.

That makes the stepson’s share one-third of what each adult child would get.

Two New York rules can shape a plan like his, one on stepchildren and one on a spouse’s share.

Stepchildren Without a Will

If you live in New York, a stepchild’s share isn’t automatic.

When someone dies without a will, the state court system says stepchildren don’t inherit unless they were legally adopted.

If you’re married with children and die without a will, your spouse gets the first $50,000 plus half of what’s left.

Your children split the rest.

A stepchild appears nowhere in that math, so including one usually takes a will or a beneficiary form that names them.

A Spouse’s Minimum Share

A spouse in New York can claim at least one-third of the net estate, or $50,000 if that’s more, even when the estate plan gives them less.

Net estate means what’s left after debts, administration costs and reasonable funeral costs.

The dad’s reported update gave his wife 25 percent, so a New Yorker with a plan like his can compare it against this one-third minimum.

If you’re the surviving spouse, you generally have six months after the court appoints an executor or administrator to make that claim, though the court can extend that window.

Generally, you can’t wait more than two years after the death.

A spouse can waive that claim only in a signed writing that gets the same acknowledgment or proof a deed needs, so a spoken promise doesn’t count.

If you’re planning around a spouse, an estate lawyer can explain how the one-third minimum applies to your family.

Beneficiary Forms Versus Wills

A plan like the dad's may not reach everything because a beneficiary form can make a will control less of an estate than you'd guess.

A life insurance policy or retirement plan generally pays the person named on its form.

New York law says neither a will nor the state's default inheritance rules can override that designation.

Because a form can override a will, it's worth comparing your forms with your will whenever your family changes.

A joint bank account can pay the surviving co-owner after one owner dies, under New York banking law.