A “Welcome Snowbirds” banner goes up outside a Mesa recreational-vehicle resort every October, right on schedule. The people who follow it rarely pack for the Arizona that’s waiting for them. These are the things snowbirds pack for Arizona that never quite survive contact with the Valley. 1. Summer Clothes Only Phoenix’s December days average a…
Most tourists think a beach is just sand, sunscreen, and a place to park their cooler. Longtime Floridians know better. Here’s a two truths and a lie game about Florida’s coastline. Every round gives you three statements, two true and one false. You pick the lie. How well do you score? The Whitest Sand Florida’s…
In North Carolina, saying the word “barbecue” out loud can start an argument. The pork is never the problem. It’s the sauce, the cut, and which half of the state you’re standing in. That’s one of the milder puzzles on a North Carolina table. These are the North Carolina foods outsiders just don’t understand. Livermush…
Your first Friday in Chicago, a new coworker buys the table a round and slides you a shot of something the color of flat ginger ale. You throw it back to be polite. Your face does something it has never done before, and the whole table cheers. Welcome to Illinois. You’ve got plenty more of…
Anybody can find a Waffle House in South Carolina. Walking in is easy. Ordering like you belong is what gives newcomers away. Hashbrowns Down the Ladder At any Waffle House counter, the hashbrowns are the first thing that marks a regular. Everybody has heard scattered, smothered, and covered. That’s the starter kit. A longtime regular…
Order Nashville hot chicken “mild,” and it still comes with a bite that clears your sinuses. That’s the tame end of the menu. A Tennessean knows that going in, the way they know their barbecue and their back roads. These are the habits that give away a Tennessee local in seconds. 1. Bleeding Orange for…
A Florida winter is the easy part. August is the test. While summer is winding down up north, the worst of the heat and the busiest weeks of hurricane season are both still ahead for Floridians. These are the things longtime Florida residents refuse to do in August, no matter what. 1. Wait for a…
In the mid-1970s, 437 textile mills ran across South Carolina, and a teenager could pick up a summer shift at almost any of them. Try finding that job today. The paychecks that filled a teenager’s summer back then came from work that machines, new laws, and cheaper imports have all but erased. These are the…
Anybody can drive the length of the 5 with a valid California license. Driving like a local takes longer. It’s the stuff no examiner tests and no sign spells out, the habits you soak up after years of on-ramps, gridlock, and one memorable ticket. These are the unwritten freeway rules Californians follow without thinking. Bail…
A Roanoke transplant stands in a Denver grocery store, holding a shrink-wrapped ham with no mention of Smithfield anywhere on the label, and sets it back on the shelf. Some cravings a moving truck can’t pack. These are the things Virginians miss most after they leave the Commonwealth behind. Chesapeake Bay Seafood A landlocked seafood…
