Is It Wrong for Tennesseans to Say No to Hosting Thanksgiving This Year? Here’s What Research Says

Go ahead and say it out loud: You don’t want to host Thanksgiving this year.

If that felt a little scandalous, it may be your family’s expectation talking.

Here’s what research says about whether it’s wrong for Tennesseans to say no, and what etiquette advice says to do about it.

The Start of It All

Picture a home where relatives gather at your table on Thanksgiving.

This year the guest list has grown and your month is packed, so you’d rather skip it.

You’ve typed a text asking your sister if you can come to her place instead.

You haven’t hit send.

Case for Skipping

Hosting Thanksgiving takes time and energy, and some years people have less of both.

A dishwasher brand commissioned a November 2024 survey of 2,000 Americans who planned to host holiday guests.

Of those hosts, 26% found hosting extremely or very stressful.

In that survey, 45% of hosts didn’t think they’d have enough time to prepare.

Meal preparation was the most time-consuming task, at 40%.

A November 2024 Pew Research Center survey of 9,609 U.S. adults found 26% expected Thanksgiving dinner with more than 10 other people, including 7% with more than 20.

A November 2025 poll for the American Psychiatric Association (APA) surveyed 2,203 U.S. adults, not just hosts, and 41% expected more holiday stress than the year before.

That’s up from 28% in 2024 and 29% in 2023.

Case for Staying Host

When you host Thanksgiving again, you set the menu and the schedule.

Seeing family and friends topped what adults looked forward to over the holidays in the APA poll, at 61%.

More adults in that poll said the holidays have a positive impact on their mental health, at 44% in 2025 compared with 38% in 2024.

In that poll, 21% said the holidays have a negative impact on their mental health.

In the same Pew survey, 34% planned Thanksgiving dinner at home, whether hosting others or dining alone.

Another 39% planned to go to someone else’s home, so somebody hosts those dinners.

A 2002 review of 32 publications in the Journal of Family Psychology linked family routines and rituals to marital satisfaction, parenting competence and child adjustment.

The review covered routines and rituals in general, and it noted limits such as inconsistent measures and samples of convenience.

Division of Holiday Work

Hosting Thanksgiving means planning, preparing, cooking and cleaning, and a Penn State Abington survey asked adults about those tasks and the feelings tied to them.

Three Penn State Abington students, advised by a sociology professor, surveyed almost 600 adults ages 25 to 75 in committed relationships, with results published in November 2023.

Among those surveyed, 96% took part in planning.

Women and men reported little difference in how involved they were in preparing and hosting.

Of those surveyed, 59% of men and 47% of women said they spent more than 10 hours preparing.

At the same time, 61% of men and 65% of women said they enjoy making the arrangements for Thanksgiving.

Both men and women said planning the holiday was a source of family tension.

The researchers noted that survey participants tend to be self-selecting, so the results may not match every household.

In a 2021 Q&A published by Syracuse University, a psychology professor said women typically take on much of the responsibility for planning and hosting in families.

She advises asking for help and delegating if you take on more than your share, and inviting family to your home if you dislike traveling but enjoy seeing them.

Etiquette Advice on Declining

Guidance on saying no to hosting Thanksgiving comes from advice written for declining requests and family gatherings in general.

The Emily Post Institute’s guide to saying no graciously was written for workplace requests.

You can be considerate and respectful and still say no.

Take time before you answer if you can, and open by appreciating that you were asked.

If the other person is disappointed, listen, acknowledge that, and hold your position if they push.

Give a true reason when you can, since a made-up reason causes trouble later.

In December 2020, the Boston Globe asked etiquette consultant Jodi RR Smith how to decline family holiday plans during the pandemic.

Unlike the Emily Post guide, Smith advises against giving a reason, since the moment you give one you’ve created an opening to negotiate.

Lizzie Post, co-president of the Emily Post Institute, told the Globe to share your plans kindly and stick to them.

If you host but want less work, the Emily Post Institute says Thanksgiving is a bit of a potluck.

Hosts can assign tasks such as greeting guests, taking coats and setting the table.

Host Share and Travel Plans

Thanksgiving falls on Thursday, November 26, and if you’re weighing whether to host, you may feel two ways about it at once.

In an October 2024 survey of 2,000 U.S. adults for a disposable-tableware brand, 38% planned to host holiday guests, down from 57% the year before.

Hosts in that survey were more enthusiastic about having guests over, at 60% compared with 53% the year before.

Respondents wanted guests to bring food, at 46%, and drinks, at 34%.

The American Automobile Association (AAA) estimated that more than 1,933,000 Tennessee residents would travel more than 50 miles from home for Thanksgiving 2025, up 2% from 2024’s record.