13 Most Common Reasons Why Americans Get Divorced
No one goes into marriage anticipating getting divorced, yet a significant number of marriages don’t last. To better understand divorce in America, Forbes conducted a study of 1,000 U.S. citizens who were either in the process of divorcing or recently divorced.
If you’re like many Americans, you likely know many people who divorced for one or more of these reasons.
Why It Matters
Understanding why couples divorce could help you make your marriage stronger. If you’re not married, it could help you make better choices in your search for “the one.” It could also make you a better friend and support system for the married people in your life.
1: Lack of Family Support
Forty-two percent of Forbes survey respondents cited a lack of family support as the reason for their divorce. Interestingly, people were more likely to cite this as the reason if they had been married for at least two years.
2: Infidelity
Infidelity doesn’t always lead to divorce, but it does make it more likely. Thirty-four percent of respondents said their divorce was due to an extramarital affair.
3: Lack of Compatibility
Lack of compatibility caused a divorce for 31% of respondents. People were more likely to cite incompatibility as the problem if they were in their first year of marriage.
4: Lack of Intimacy
About a third of respondents said lack of intimacy was the reason for dissolving their union. Research shows intimacy contributes to better health. Lack of it in a marriage can lead to extreme stress and feelings of loneliness.
5: Excessive Conflict
Sometimes, couples just can’t get along. Too much conflict was a cause of divorce for 31% of survey respondents.
6: Financial Distress
About one in four people (24%) said financial distress led to their divorce. Financial distress can create many problems in a marriage. It could mean fewer date nights and vacations, which act as important outlets for intimacy, or it could lead to distrust if your partner is racking up debt without your knowledge.
7: Lack of Commitment
Twenty-three percent of respondents said lack of commitment led to their divorce. No longer feeling committed to one’s partner or to the marriage can stem from a variety of issues, and it often feels irreparable.
8: Parenting Differences
When getting married, you don’t always know how your partner will parent. Opposing parenting philosophies could put extreme stress on the relationship. According to the survey, it led to divorce in 20% of couples.
9: Marrying Too Young
One in ten respondents said marrying too young was the cause of their divorce. Often, marrying young brings more challenges to the relationship as younger people may not be financially stable or mature enough to work through issues respectfully.
10: Opposing Values
Research doesn’t really back up the idea that opposites attract. A recent study found that successful couples share up to 89% of their values. In Forbes’ survey, 6% said opposing values led to their divorce.
11: Substance Abuse
Substance abuse and addiction can wreak havoc on relationships, including marriages. Three percent of respondents said substance abuse led to their divorce.
12: Domestic Violence
An additional three percent of respondents said their marriage ended due to domestic violence. This included both emotional and physical abuse.
13: Differing Lifestyles
Only 1% of respondents said they were leaving or had left their marriage to pursue a different lifestyle. Sometimes, people discover a deep desire to change their habits and behaviors. If their partner can’t accept their new way of living, it could lead to a divorce.
Current State of Divorce
In 2021, 689,308 marriages ended in divorce. Almost half of all first-time marriages end in divorce, and the divorce rate increases with subsequent marriages. Most of the time, couples file for a no-fault divorce and cite irreconcilable differences.
Warning Signs
When the survey asked respondents if they noticed any early warning signs in their relationships, they often pointed toward poor conflict resolution and a loss of interest in their partner.
Common Conflicts
There were also certain types of conflicts that more commonly led to divorce. These included conflicts about career choice, division of household labor, and parenting.
Didn’t Have To Happen
Most of the respondents also thought their marriage could have been saved if they and their partner had handled issues differently or had been better educated before tying the knot.
Would Have Saved the Marriage
Sixty-three percent of participants said that a better understanding of what commitment meant prior to marriage could have helped them avoid divorce. Over half said they would have stayed in the marriage if they had a better understanding of their spouse’s values.
The Good News
Divorce can be incredibly painful for a couple and their family. However, the good news is that the divorce rate is dropping. Divorces peaked in 1976 at 22.6 divorces per 1,000 couples and now sit at about 14.6 divorces per 1,000 couples.
Especially for Vermont
Interestingly, divorces are especially low in certain areas of the United States. Vermont lays claim to the lowest divorce rate.
Could Be a Reason for That
Don’t pack your bags and head for Vermont to save your marriage though. The state may have the lowest number of divorces for a reason. Divorce attorneys say it’s one of the worst states to get divorced in, and couples should consider going to a neighboring state to file papers.
Avoid Arkansas
If your marriage is in dire straits, there is a state you should avoid. Arkansas has the highest divorce rate in the country, at 23.27 divorces per 1,000 couples.
11 Best States for Singles Looking for Love
Are you struggling to meet that special someone? According to data collected by WalletHub, it might be because you’re living in the wrong state.
11 Best States for Singles Looking for Love
19 Reasons Women Choose Not To Have Children
A growing number of women are choosing not to have children, and their reasons are myriad. From apprehension about the state of the world to a straightforward lack of desire, child-free by choice is becoming a common identifier, and these are some of the reasons why.
